Don't Want to See Another Child Lost!

I’m concerned about the welfare of a child I know. He’s not getting beat on, or anything like that. He has a roof over his head, goes to school every day, has plenty of toys to play with, and always has food to eat. What he’s lacking is any type of structure, and I think that he might need some type of therapy.

Let me give you a general idea of my concerns and of how this little boy has been acting up since…… god knows when.

I’ll call him “D” for now.

“D” has been raised by his grandmother since he was born. His mother, a striper and drug addict, has 7 other children. I’ve met her a few times. She has a good heart, but she lacks control and self esteem. She’s not able to take care of the children she has. Last time I heard anything about her she was in a re-habilitation center/institution, and the state had taken custody of the children she did have around her.

“D’s” father is locked up, and I don’t even know how much time he has left. He’s never been “available” to raise his own son, and as far as I know, his only fatherly contributions have been a few jail-house drawings (by other inmates), and a $7 a month child support check. He has ADHD and a career plan that reads “DON’T GET CAUGHT AGAIN!”

So it’s fallen upon the grandmother to raise this child. Shouldn’t be a huge problem right? Wrong. Currently granny has 5 other people living in the house not including herself and “D”. This is the smallest amount of people I’ve ever known to live there though. I stayed there for a little while (maybe 5 years ago), and when I was living there, there were no less then 10 people….every-single-night! And all of us are female except for young “D”. Granny is not a young woman, so she can’t/wont/doesn’t care to chase him around. She lets him do what ever he pleases knowing that he won’t have to suffer any consequences. Hence the reason he climbed out onto the third floor ledge 3 years ago.

My concern is that she is raising this child like a grandmother, and not the mother that she really is/needs to be. By that I mean that all she does is spoil him, and shelter him from the repercussions of his actions. Shoot! I actually heard her tell her 25 year old daughter to “do his homework!” Tuesday night. This demand was made, after and while the boy was outside playing on his bike all day and night. Wow!!!

So……he’s a little spoiled. What’s the big deal…right? Here’s my biggest concern. There’s a new baby in the house. Now he’s been doing the typical “jump/cry/pout for attention” thing. A lot of kids do that though, when there’s a new baby in the house. We (my friend and I) already figured that he would regress some but what I’m bout to tell you definitely falls outside the norm.

He pooped on himself! On purpose! And continued about his day as if no one would notice. He’s not slow in the least. He’s going to be 8 on Christmas day, and he’s actually in advanced classes in school. I asked my friend if he had had a stomach ache, thinking that, well maybe he was sick and couldn’t make it to the bathroom; like explosive diarrhea. My friend informed me that that was not the case. She told me that he walked into the room while she was platting her sons’ hair. “D” happily exclaimed “Ooooh!!! “Insert baby’s name here” is getting his hair done?” Like nothing in the world had happened. She said it smelt so bad that she knew he had to have done something. When she asked him the first time if he sh*t himself, he said nothing. The second time she asked though, he responded by saying "“insert baby’s name here” poops on himself all the time!" The baby “D’s” referring to just turned 1 this month.

“D’s” never been one to poop or even pee his pants. Of course they had to take the clothes, I don’t know what they did with them…..but she told me that it was indeed grown man sh*t. No conversations were had with “D” regarding this event.

The new baby in the house has definitely made things worse. I suspect it’s at the root of his stealing, writing on the leather of car seats, anything to get attention really. It doesn’t really matter what it is.

And don’t even think about going over there to try and hold the new baby. Ohhhhhhhhhh no no no no!!!! He’ll be all over you like white on rice. No, he won’t actually ask for you to play with him, he’ll just conveniently place himself between you and the baby. I don’t think that that would be so annoying if he weren’t so hyper & posessvie, and I don’t think that things would be so out of hand if some one would sit down and really talk with him. Hear his concerns. He’s an articulate kid. I’m sure something can be done.


All I can really do right now is pray, but what I want to do is recommend some child and/or parental counseling or therapy, but how do you offer advice to a family that doesn’t really seem to like to go outside the box? Maybe I’m overreacting……naw f*ck that! *Thinking back to all the crazy things I’ve seen him do these past 7.9 years! * That kid needs help!

I know I have a problem with taking other peoples issues onto myself, so I’m hesitant to even say anything. It’s just really eating at me though. Should I just keep my mouth shut and be thankful “D’s” not my kid?

HELP!!!! I need some real advice!



Peace

I Was Just Curious.......

On average, while you’re blogging, do you leave mostly positive/agreeable comments in the response sections, or do you usually take the opportunity to write something contradictory to the authors post, just for controversy’s sake? Do you find that you just naturally disagree with what most people are thinking? Do you comment for laughs? Or, are you a lurker?

This is an open question to everyone (lurkers too). I’ve never really had a problem with negative comments. But I have seen (on other blogs) a few commenters that always seem to be getting into s*** with the authors, and even other commenters.

Nothing wrong with one or two s*** starters I guess, LOL! It keeps things from getting boring, IMHO. I hope that everyone who visits my lowly blog feels comfortable enough to say whatever is on their minds. Even if it’s “Shut tha f*** up Nic!!!!!” Hahahaha!!!!!! I know that I don’t write many controversial posts ……. so this question applies to any and all other blogs you regularly read.

You can answer anonymously if you prefer.


Peace…………… And thank you in advance for not “OUTING” any one in particular.




Much Love,
Nic

Quickie

I was standing outside of my job yesterday, just talking on the phone to a new friend, when my ex rode by me in his ambulance truck. He didn’t stop. Didn’t even look my way, witch is kinda funny because about a couple of weeks ago he sent me a text saying “I’m sorry!” I hadn’t made any attempt to contact him and his text message was out of the clear blue. I didn’t put too much stock into it because, well for one it was sent at close to 2am on a Saturday morning (booty call time). And two…..it was just a damn text! The most impersonal way of communication known to man. I responded with a … “It’s cool” the next day, and just kinda forgot about him.

Of course, after seeing him I had an awful dream. In the dream, he came into my room with this weird rose vine for me and lay in my bed. He started to stroke my hair and back, and then started saying some crap to me, about never leaving me again. This shit, of course, woke me up.

I’m confused, because my subconscious is playing games again. Just some residual bull shit I guess. Oh well, the good thing is that when I saw him yesterday, I didn’t feel hate for him. I didn’t feel anything actually. I just finished talking to my friend for as long as his lunch break allowed.



Peace

A letter to Ms. Jones.

Marion Jones, why are you trying to destroy me?

I’ve never done anything to you, and still you decided to give me the migraine headache of all times this morning?

I staggered around my house trying to wake up enough, so that I wouldn’t drown myself in the shower, and while listening to the news, I hear that you plan to admit to steroid use!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

After all those accusations, and all that denying??????

Immediately, I felt let down and embarrassed. At first I thought that it might be a racial thing. You know…. as an African American woman, I got that “she set us back” feeling.

But then, after a little time, I realized that that wasn’t the case at all. Race couldn’t have been my issue, because I didn’t care at all when that Barry Bonds steroid case came to light. And he’s a man of color.

My migraine came from this………..


YOU GOT ME MARION JONES!


You tricked me into believing that you were wrongly accused of using drugs. I was on your side. I defended your image during all the speculation. And you were lying through your baby teeth. You’re a cheat and a liar and I hate you!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, okay, …….. lol. That was a little extreme and childish so I take that back. I’m sorry, it’s just that, I hate to be wrong. Anyway...that's all I have to say.


Thanks for nothing,
Nic



p.s. Kick rocks!

What Goes Around....

Antoine and I have been friends since my second year at college. That puts us ruffly around 2001. We have never been romantic, because I just don't like him like that. He has however made it known (a few times) that he is interested in me. We had a falling out a year and a half ago, because he could not comprehend the fact that I wasn't interested in starting a relationship. *If you've been reading this blog for a while than you can do the math. I was still messing around with my ex-boyfriend.* So anyway Antoine and I fell into the "a man and a woman can't be "friends" if their not screwing" category. We had a falling out where I cussed him out.......ROYALLY! and then we didn't speak for about a year. Well a few months ago, he reached out and apologized for the argument, and for not being understanding. I told him that I meant everything I said, and couldn't apologize for it. I was however willing to squash it, and that was cool enough for him. Not to sound vain or anything, but I guess he was just happy to be talking to me again.

So for the past few months we've been talking on the phone, going to movies, hanging out here and there. Nothing too serious, because I am not ready to be tied down just yet. He says that he will be patient. LOL! We'll see.

Since the car incident, I've been feeling kinda down. On Sunday (after they towed my car), he told me that he wanted to chill with me on Wednesday after work. I was happy to hear that, because I just wanted to get the whole thing off of my mind. Tuesday...while we were on the phone I asked him if we were still on for the following day. He says in a real apologetic tone that he can't, because he has to meet some lady about a job with Aflac, and that they would be going out to dinner after he gets off at his current job at 5pm.

Uhhhhhhhhh Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. So now we're corporate negotiators?

I said cool, and made other plans. Tuesday night, he calls me, sounding all pitiful, asking me if I could join him at this business dinner, because he was nervous or some sh!t.


Me: Ohhh, I'm sorry. When you cancelled on me I went on ahead and made other plans.

Him: (crickets chirping)

Me: Are you still there?

Him: Yeah.......just kinda.....(inaudible)

Me: Are you okay?

Him: I guess, I'm just kinda salty now. I was hoping I could see you, but I guess I messed up....There's no way huh?


Me: Well (laughing to myself), let me see if I can move some things around, okay? (without the slightest intention of doing any such thing.......I don't cancel on people unless there's a real emergency). I'll call you back in a minute.


So I hang up and get out of the rental, which I'm starting to like by the way, and head to my friends house. I tell the story and we laugh and sit down to watch "The Academy" at around 8:00pm. I leave her house at 10:00pm and call him after I take my sweet time to get into bed.



Me: Hey "A".... Did I wake you?

Him: No, what's up? (as happy as a puppy) Can I see you tomorrow?

Me: (insert fake sympathetic sigh) I'm sorry. I tried to move some things around, but....well I didn't want to cancel on them. I didn't want to be rude, you know. Maybe we can kick it another time.

Him: Okay.



We got off the phone after that. I slept pretty good. The next day he calls while I'm at work to ask how my day is going. I talk to him for a little while, the whole time maintaining my usual sugary sweet tone. With the work day over, I head home. Make it to my bed and try to catch a little sleep before I have to get up and dressed again. He calls at 5:15pm.



Him: Hey! How are you!

Me: (Sounding groggy, cause I was just falling asleep) Umm......I'm okay. How are you? Are you on your way to the restaurant?


Him: Man! I am so salty. You know I was going to meet the lady about my job, but my little sister called with an emergency, so I ended up rescheduling.

Me: Oh my g-d is she okay!?!?!?!?!?

Him: Yeah, remember I told you that she wanted me to buy her that phone? ( Awkward silence) Yeah, well anyway, she called me and asked me to meet her after work so I could go and get that with her.

Me: (silent)

Him: Are you still there?

Me: Yup.

Him: Oh, and the crazy thing is that after I cancelled with Aflac she (his sister) ended up telling me that she would just grab it another day.

Me: You cancelled an appointment about a higher paying job to get you sister, whom you see all the time, a phone? (thinking that either he has a really unhealthy relationship with his sister, or there was really no career negotiations to be had in the first place)

Him: (sounding a little defensive) Well, my relationship with my sis has been strained for a while, and I really want us to be cool. It may not be important to you or anyone else, but it's important to me.

Me: (with the sweetest and most patient voice you'd ever want to hear) Well "A", if it's important to you than that's all that really matters, right?

Him: Right. (calming down and sounding relieved) I just feel like an ass for canceling on two people. So....What are you doing?

Me: Just trying to get some rest before I go out.

Him: Oh, so you're still going out?

Me: Yep!

Him: Oh.....okay then. I guess I'll be able to find something to do.

Me: You always do.

Him: ............................... I'll let you go so you can get ready. Call me when you get in.

Me: (in my dismissive voice) Uh-huh,__________ goodnight Antione.

Him: Damn it's like that? Okay. Goodnight Nic.




I really wasn't that upset with him, I just wanted to teach him a lesson. My time is valuable, and I, just like a lot of other people on this earth don't like to be jerked around.

Peace .

Sorry

Well the next few post will be a series of my unfortunate events.

Sunday 2:00am a drunk driver hit the sh!t out of my car. I had just parked it in front of the house. My new neighbor (some young married dude) held the driver for close to 45 minutes while we were waiting for the police. Unfortunately things got sticky when the passenger of that vehicle came back for his buddy, and helped him make a dash. The cops came 5 minutes later. I can't believe my luck sometimes!

Anyway, both officers were very nice. There was a black male in an unmarked, and a black female in a regular police car.

My favorite moment of the night had to be after the drunk offered us a measly $200.00 to let him go. The neighbor looks at my mom, and says.... "Do you want me to let him go?" mom says "no" then he says "Sorry, can't let you go then." And then he says real nice-like, "You're lucky you didn't hit my car.........I'd probably have killed you." The drunk was speechless. In the end, the cops didn't get the guys. The car wasn't registered to them (some girl in Elkins Park). It also wasn't insured. My car (04' sable) is done, and I just put $380.00 into it that Thursday. On top of everything I am going to end up paying the deductible, but at least I know that I have a great neighbor who went out of his way to do something for someone that he hardly knows.

I went out the next day to get him a "Thank you" card and a gift card from Target. I could only put $20.00 on it cause I am so broke. I wish I could have done more for him. He had a wife and a bunch of kids in that house, and I'm sure that he knows (like I know) that anything could have happened.

Well that's it for now. I have a bunch of other stuff to share with you guys. Love life stuff, work, and just hum-drum regular life stuff. TTY tomorrow!