Don't Want to See Another Child Lost!

I’m concerned about the welfare of a child I know. He’s not getting beat on, or anything like that. He has a roof over his head, goes to school every day, has plenty of toys to play with, and always has food to eat. What he’s lacking is any type of structure, and I think that he might need some type of therapy.

Let me give you a general idea of my concerns and of how this little boy has been acting up since…… god knows when.

I’ll call him “D” for now.

“D” has been raised by his grandmother since he was born. His mother, a striper and drug addict, has 7 other children. I’ve met her a few times. She has a good heart, but she lacks control and self esteem. She’s not able to take care of the children she has. Last time I heard anything about her she was in a re-habilitation center/institution, and the state had taken custody of the children she did have around her.

“D’s” father is locked up, and I don’t even know how much time he has left. He’s never been “available” to raise his own son, and as far as I know, his only fatherly contributions have been a few jail-house drawings (by other inmates), and a $7 a month child support check. He has ADHD and a career plan that reads “DON’T GET CAUGHT AGAIN!”

So it’s fallen upon the grandmother to raise this child. Shouldn’t be a huge problem right? Wrong. Currently granny has 5 other people living in the house not including herself and “D”. This is the smallest amount of people I’ve ever known to live there though. I stayed there for a little while (maybe 5 years ago), and when I was living there, there were no less then 10 people….every-single-night! And all of us are female except for young “D”. Granny is not a young woman, so she can’t/wont/doesn’t care to chase him around. She lets him do what ever he pleases knowing that he won’t have to suffer any consequences. Hence the reason he climbed out onto the third floor ledge 3 years ago.

My concern is that she is raising this child like a grandmother, and not the mother that she really is/needs to be. By that I mean that all she does is spoil him, and shelter him from the repercussions of his actions. Shoot! I actually heard her tell her 25 year old daughter to “do his homework!” Tuesday night. This demand was made, after and while the boy was outside playing on his bike all day and night. Wow!!!

So……he’s a little spoiled. What’s the big deal…right? Here’s my biggest concern. There’s a new baby in the house. Now he’s been doing the typical “jump/cry/pout for attention” thing. A lot of kids do that though, when there’s a new baby in the house. We (my friend and I) already figured that he would regress some but what I’m bout to tell you definitely falls outside the norm.

He pooped on himself! On purpose! And continued about his day as if no one would notice. He’s not slow in the least. He’s going to be 8 on Christmas day, and he’s actually in advanced classes in school. I asked my friend if he had had a stomach ache, thinking that, well maybe he was sick and couldn’t make it to the bathroom; like explosive diarrhea. My friend informed me that that was not the case. She told me that he walked into the room while she was platting her sons’ hair. “D” happily exclaimed “Ooooh!!! “Insert baby’s name here” is getting his hair done?” Like nothing in the world had happened. She said it smelt so bad that she knew he had to have done something. When she asked him the first time if he sh*t himself, he said nothing. The second time she asked though, he responded by saying "“insert baby’s name here” poops on himself all the time!" The baby “D’s” referring to just turned 1 this month.

“D’s” never been one to poop or even pee his pants. Of course they had to take the clothes, I don’t know what they did with them…..but she told me that it was indeed grown man sh*t. No conversations were had with “D” regarding this event.

The new baby in the house has definitely made things worse. I suspect it’s at the root of his stealing, writing on the leather of car seats, anything to get attention really. It doesn’t really matter what it is.

And don’t even think about going over there to try and hold the new baby. Ohhhhhhhhhh no no no no!!!! He’ll be all over you like white on rice. No, he won’t actually ask for you to play with him, he’ll just conveniently place himself between you and the baby. I don’t think that that would be so annoying if he weren’t so hyper & posessvie, and I don’t think that things would be so out of hand if some one would sit down and really talk with him. Hear his concerns. He’s an articulate kid. I’m sure something can be done.


All I can really do right now is pray, but what I want to do is recommend some child and/or parental counseling or therapy, but how do you offer advice to a family that doesn’t really seem to like to go outside the box? Maybe I’m overreacting……naw f*ck that! *Thinking back to all the crazy things I’ve seen him do these past 7.9 years! * That kid needs help!

I know I have a problem with taking other peoples issues onto myself, so I’m hesitant to even say anything. It’s just really eating at me though. Should I just keep my mouth shut and be thankful “D’s” not my kid?

HELP!!!! I need some real advice!



Peace