Thursday, February 21, 2008
I can't wait any longer! I'm going to sleep with the Fireman this Saturday, if I don’t punk out, ha-ha! Why am I so nervous? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because every time he hugs me with those big strong arms and pulls me to his chest, I imagine him fucking the shit out of me, and I’m scared that he’ll just completely turn me out and have me screaming all types of crazy shit. Scared and hopeful, but mostly scared, because I don’t want to become dickmotized. No, I'm still not sure if I want to be in a relationship with him or the artist. I really don't care to think about all at that at this point of my life. It's been a long time, and I deserve some sexual satisfaction (not that the toys haven't been fun). All I care about right now is getting’ some, and somehow maintaining the essence and composure of Nic......whatever the hell that may be. Of course we'll use protection, and I'll give y'all the details as soon as I can.