Backsliding Again.

I've only had one boyfriend in the time between now and late 2002. His name is Greg & we met at work. He was my "team leader" & I fell for the business attire (I'm a sucker for a man in a suit). It didn't hurt that he was also funny, smart, and considerate. So anyway, we started to date in early November 02', and ended up sleeping together on New Years Eve. Quick? Yeah I guess, but before him, I hadn't been with a man in a year and a half. In addition to work, we spent every free hour together. Woke up and went to sleep on the phone together, took trips to A.C., Wildwood, and North Carolina, which is a lot for a girl who never really left the block. Things were good in the beginning. Enter the "babies mom". She made being difficult into an art, but that's another blog entry. Long story short, the relationship couldn't take the stress of a determined lunatic, and he turned out to not be the man I thought he was. His passive aggressive attitude towards everything was the reason we broke up. So why can't I stop sleeping with him? Is it because, he was the first man to bring me to orgasm with his dick? Or am I still in love with him? I'm not sure, but I don't think it's either of those things. Because 1. You can't love a man that you don't trust or respect, and 2. I can give myself the big "O". If anything, I think it's just because I'm a creature of habit. Now were sleeping together. Again!!! This isn't the first time we've reunited to become smut buddies, and I'll admit that there were times when I wanted more from him then just the sex. But that was then, and this is now. A lot has changed.

My issue this time is that now he's getting a little too emotionally involved. Now, when all I want is a jump off, he's trying to get me to sleep over. He gets offended when I use the word "fucking". Gave me a speech, because I got dressed to quick to leave after our late night romp. What happened to the days when he used to dash from my apartment to go to "work"? Right now you're probably wondering why I don't just find another man to sleep with. Well, I don't know. Like I said before, I guess I'm a creature of habit.

Anyway, we slept with each other this Tuesday, and Wednesday already. He made me promise to sleep over this Friday. I want to cancel. When did I become the dude?