Good Luck with Your Life and Shit!

That's ^ what I want to say to my ex-best friend. Usually I have a bit more class, but she's bringing out that "I don't give a shit attitude" in me.

Let me give you some background on the situation.

“T” and I were best friends since her aunt moved next door to my mother in 1995. We've been through so much together. We were like US postal service workers. You know..."neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow" could keep us apart. We knew everything about each other. And we always looked out for one another. Over the years we had our little spats, but they weren't even real arguments or anything like that. It was more like, one of us would say or do something that the other one didn't like, and then we wouldn't talk for a month or so. We always found our way back to each other, and we could usually even laugh about our little falling-outs.
Anyway years go by, and life keeps coming at us. She starts to secretly date this guy who she met at work (before he quit). Let’s just call him “A”. She didn't even tell me until around their 6 month anniversary. Anyway, he's a real charmer. Won't keep a job, claims nobody understands him, and everyone’s against him, blah blah, blah. He had this “oh woe is me complex”. I remember first thinking that this guy was trouble when she called me and told me that, they were going to get married, but, now instead of a big wedding they would just go to city hall, because he wants something simple. This girl has been gushing about her would-be wedding since I’ve known her. When I asked her if she was sure she said “yeah, plus he doesn’t really get along with my family anyway”. When I questioned her about their relationship, she just kinda’ shut down. Later, (I guess after they had alienated themselves from everyone in her family), she stared telling me more. About all of their arguments. It was over little stuff at first. Then it escalated to bigger stuff. She confided in me that she recently discovered he was dating someone else. An older woman with a master’s degree, a Chevy Tahoe, and a house out in Jersey. To top that off, the chick goes to his church, and his mom loves her. They’d been messing around for years. When she confronted “A” with this information he just left. Shit I would’ve to. Nobody’s gonna’ sit and put up with shit when they don’t have to.
Later he started to pick with her self-esteem. He would tell her to do something more with her life. Go back to school and get a real job. He would leave crazy messages on her cell phone, and tell her that she was a waste of his time. She’d call me upset, when she couldn’t find him. And give me the “fuck him, I’m through with his tired ass” speech. The next day she’d be off somewhere doing his laundry, paying his bills, fixing him a plate, and/or sucking his dick.

“Shocked” is the only word I can use to describe how I felt. I swear I never knew her self esteem was so low. Out of the two of us, she was always the one pulling more dudes, getting’ into more fights, cussing more people out. I didn’t think she would let that shit go, but I guess I was wrong. Watching this shit play out was like watching Maury or Jerry Springer. As a friend, who is one year older and been through some drama in her life also, I tried to warn her, and give her advice. She hinted that she was tired of people butting into her business, so I shut the fuck up and kept my thoughts to myself. At this point though, I’m getting tired of her attitude, and her dumb-ass ways. I was 25 years old, and starting to wonder if I had outgrown her needy ways. A couple of months passed. He had become increasingly distant. They eventually just became smut-buddies. And since she wasn’t obligated to him she also slept with a guy from work….at work! I was about to make a clean break, when everything went downhill.

Pregnant!!!!!!!

All of a sudden all of those “Big Sister/Best Friend” feelings came back. *I’m not completely heartless*. She needed support, and I wanted to make sure she and the baby were okay. At first she played that role like “Oh my g-d, I’m so scared what am I gonna’ do? Should I keep it? Should I tell him? Am I ready for this?” I told her “calm down and just take a few days to figure out what you want to do” She then proceeded to tell me that she might have an abortion. I told her that she should really keep this quiet if she planned to do that. “Letting “A” know is cool, but don’t tell your family because they are very close, and very religious. They’ll make you keep it.” Adding, “just take a little time to think about it, you’re not far along, a day or two won’t hurt.” Well damnit if this little attention whore didn’t make a public service announcement about her condition that day. I’m talking cousins and people on the block. It was at this point that I really grasped how desperate for attention she was. And now I’m like 80% sure that she got pregnant to trap dude. When I asked her point blank if they used condoms she said “no”. Then I asked her if he always came in her, and she said “yes”. Then I said “Well did you think that weren’t going to get pregnant?” No response.
There’s nothing worse than a woman who will get pregnant to keep a man. Chicks that bring children into this world just so that they can throw a baby shower and catch a wedding ring make me sick.
“A” however was more than sick. He was irate. He told her flat out that he didn’t want her to have that baby. In the beginning he was kind of nice about it. He tried to cap her head up and say things, like “we can have a baby later, let’s wait awhile, let me finish with school first”. Then when she said “no” to the abortion he revealed his true self. They had arguments, physical confrontations, he changed his number, but left the most unbelievably ignorant messages on her cell phone, kicked a dent in her car, & had his mother call the cops on her after she drove over there to talk to him. By the time the cops came, he was crying and being restrained by his two older brothers. When the Cops asked him what he was crying about he screamed for the whole neighborhood to hear “Because I want this bitch to have an abortion, and she won’t”. After that he moved in with the Jersey girl.
Fast forward 6-7 months. The two of them are being somewhat civil. “T” and I are still talking. I’ve been picked to be the god-mother of their baby. It’s at this point that she tells me there’s a possibility that “A” ain’t the father of this baby. *Yeah, no shit? I’ve been thinking that since you started getting your due dates confused.* By the time that she shared that little piece of information with me I was too emotionally drained to care. I was already tired of her. A few months go by, and I get a call while I’m at work. I race to the hospital and watch as the beautiful baby boy was born. He actually came out pretty. I didn’t know babies did that. Anyway, I took pictures, brought cards, and threatened the nurses through the plexi-glass while they were cleaning him up. You know? basic g-dmother stuff. I came up there everyday after work. “A” didn’t show up for another 3 days, as she was getting ready to leave. I will never forget that day. She was laying down holding the baby, and I was standing over by the bed, when he came in. She immediately got quiet. Now, he and I weren’t beefin’, but understandably there was tension, because of all the things that she’s been telling me about him. I wanted to put that behind us, so I said “Hey, why don’t you come over to this side of the bed. I’ll move-you can see his face better from over here. Then I asked him if I could take a picture of the three of them. He said “no”. I asked again, saying that I just wanted a picture to commemorate the first day he met his son, outside of her belly lol. And do you know what this Negro told me as he walked past his son, across the room to the chair. “Naw, that’s okay, I need a hair cut, I’m scruffin.” Well that was enough for me I got my shit together and excused myself. She admitted to me later that the reason he didn’t want to take a picture of the baby, was because he didn’t think that the baby was his. In his words ,"That baby is too light".

In the months that came, he warmed up to “a jr.” He spent a lot of time around the baby. For all of "T's" stories, he actually didn’t seem like a really bad guy. He was an okay father, he just didn’t want to be with her. In fact, the more I watched them together, the more I began to wonder if “she” was crazy. For starters she accidentally dropped the baby – it was an accident, but still...DAMN! get your shit together! Then she started to drink at the clubs. You cant’ do that shit and breastfeed. When she started fucking “A” again, I was a little concerned. But what pushed me over the edge was the fact that, she refused to tell “A” that he might not be the father of that child. I mean damn she was turning into trash right before my eyes. On top of that, the guy that she fucked at work, (apparently w/out protection), actually wanted to be the father. He thought the kid was his. And he begged "T" to let him into the picture. She just ignored him while at work.

Moving along.

Well the baby turned 3 months and she just started to act real funny. She never told him that there was a strong chance that he was not the father. She started ignoring my phone calls, and would act funny when I stopped by to check on her and the baby. It was like now that she had what she wanted in life (A permanent connection to “A”), fuck everything and everyone else.
After all the days she cried on my shoulders, popped up at my job in tears, the baby bouncers and clothes I bought…. Shit I even went with her to her doctors appointments. Held her hand while she was crying, and the doctors told her that she needed to lower her blood pressure & stress levels or the baby could die. I couldn’t believe she was acting new. I called her on her behavior and she acted like she didn’t know what I was talking about. 10 seconds later she said "let me call you right back I’ve got “A” on the other line". That was the last time I had any contact with her, until recently.
I got a text message from her the other day. It was one of those chain messages, that said something like “in light of the V-Tech tragedy, send this message to everyone you don’t want to lose”. I sent it back to her.
But I really wanted to add something like “Good luck with your life n’ shit!” or maybe “Kick Rocks Bitch” Something that will send the message that, I really don’t care to receive any messages from you in life anymore, you overly dramatic, attention hungry opportunistic slut.
I wish her, no ill will. I just want to make it clear that I have no interest in her, or her particular type of bullshit, at this point in my life.



Am I wrong for feeling this way? What should I do?