Thursday Night Road- Whore

6am – 3pm Worked
3am – 3:30 Drove home
3:30 – 4pm Hung out with two of my god-kids
4pm – 7:30 Mowed the lawn, weed-whacked the edges, pulled weeds in the driveway & in the front of the house, trimmed the bush by the curb, used the leaf blower for all the acorns and crap, swept, and sprayed down the pavement.
7:30 – 8:15 Took a shower and put on some p.j.'s.
8:15 – 8:45 Sat down and tried not to think about how hungry I was.
- 8:45 Got up, went outside (noticed there was already trash in-front of the house) and drove to Wendy’s to get a salad and some nuggets. While I was out that way I filled up my tank, and dropped off a movie I had rented last week. (Yes I still had my PJ’s on)

So I’m driving home, and I get stopped at a red light. There were two cars in-front of me and no cars in the lane to my right. A car pulls up in the right hand lane and stops right next to my car instead of pulling all the way up to the light. Ladies you know what it was hittin’ for.
Anyway I didn’t turn around I just kept singing along to my music and waiting for the light to change.

I’m a naturally fast driver, so I take off as soon as the light changes. Dude was on my heels though, and followed me from lane to lane. What a Tackball. The next light we got stopped at brought more of the same thing. He even tried beeping.The light changes and I'm off again.

There’s nothing but open road (really just street) in-front of us. I don’t know how fast we were going but we were within the speed limit.
There wasn’t anyone behind me for a while, so I just stopped. Don’t you know this fool stopped too? Right next to me! So you know I had to play stop and go with him for a little bit longer? LOL!
I decided that I would at least look over to see who it was. I was already laughing my a** off. I look, and to my surprise he looked very familiar. It is the same dude that was trying to race me about two months ago on the other side of town. I guess that’s his m.o.. Haha! So I roll my window down because at this point I was curious to hear what he was going to say. He looked at me and said

Him: Hey, why don’t you let me take you to dinner tonight.
*I look over at at his BMW SUV…it’s nice, but I’m still not interested*
Me: No thanks, I just came from getting some junk food.
Him: Hey girl, don’t I know you?”
Me: Yep
Him: From what?
Me: Same thing as tonight. Driving.
Him: Oh! Can I talk to you?
Me: Sorry, I’m going this way. (make a left turn and wave “bye-bye”. I could not stop laughing at dude)


That s*** was so funny to me. I mean twice in the past 6 months. Does he have a thing for Mercury Sables, or is he just a road whore?

“Can I take you to dinner tonight?” What type of girls are going for this crap? I mean it’s a Thursday night, we’re in cars (still moving might I add) and I don’t even know him. His approach was all wrong.

Maybe I would have been impressed if he could have gotten in front of me, and made me stop.

Haha! Beat the speed racer though?............ Please!



Have a great weekend y'all.

Hi everyone. Hope you had a great weekend. I did, but I'll write about that another time. Anyway, I've been tagged by Ms. Behaving.

The rules are self explanatory. Elaborate on the word(s) I've put in bold lettering below.


Accent – Don’t have one, but a lot of people have asked me if I was from Virginia. Don’t know if these particular people have ever BEEN to Virginia and heard an authentic accent, but whatever. I love an Irish accent. Also some southern, south American, and British accents.

I Don't Drink - Milk, or much liquor.

Chore I Hate – Dishes…..by hand, It’s something about having to stand in one place for a while.

Pets – I lovvvvve animals. I’ve had a bunch of different pets. Mice, snakes, fish, birds, lizards, hamsters, guinea pigs, cat’s, dogs. I would never bring another bird in the house though….ever.


Essential Electronic – My cell phone. It’s like the only decent electronic thing I have.

Perfume/Cologne - Normally I would keep this to myself, cause I don’t like copy cats, but I wear Lolita Lempicka Perfume.

Gold or silver – Gold

Insomnia – Just at work.

Job Title – Site Supervisor

Most Admired Trait – My eyes, and lips.

Kids – None yet. I’d like to be married and settled b4 I start to having babies.

Religion – I’m a Christian, but I don’t attend church often.

Siblings – One little sister. Thank god we don’t fight as much as we used to. Now she’s one of my best friends.

Time I wake up - About 5am every single day. I’m a creature of habit.

Unusual talent/skill – I wouldn’t say that it is THAT unusual, but I have a good memory for faces. Also I can still pass for 18 even though I’m pushin 27. Oh Yeah, I forgot. I can sleep forever if you let me. Seriously forever. LOL!

Vegetable I refuse to eat – Mutha-Fuggin Eggplant. Still the nastiest thing I can think of on this earth.

Worst habit – Being a people pleaser. I have gotten a lot better, but I still catch myself sometimes overextending.

X-rays - Never

My favorite meal – Baked Salmon with any green veggie, and a cornbread muffin. But the salmon has to be chilled. Come to think of it, I like most of my food cold.

Alright. Now that that’s done with I tag…………………………………….Ray-Ray & KiKi. I had to do it and now so do you.

Peace People.

Another Interesting Conversation.

This is a conversation that I had just a few hours ago with a visiting supervisor who’s been helping me out for the week. We were talking about his 23 year old niece who lives with, and is spoiled by, her dad.

Me: Damn! She gets to sleep on till’ 2pm every day? And her father pays for everything! Car note, insurance, hair nails, rent……Wow, that’s the life. I can’t even relax after work. When I leave here I go to the gym, and when I get home there’s always cleaning to do.

NG: You go to the gym?

Me: Yeah.

NG: The gym? Why do you go to the gym? You’re skinny!

Me: I need to tone up and work on my stamina.

NG: Why?

Me: For this job I’m trying to get. It's in a field where I'll be required to be a lot more active.

NG: What field are you trying to get into?

Me: (straight-faced) Pornography.

NG…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
(Fumbling) Ahhh. Oh. I uhh………………. (Looking conflicted confused and intrigued)

Me: Just kidding. Law enforcement…..You can breathe now.



I wish y'all could have seen his face. HILARIOUS!!!!

Have a good one people.

Peace

About Last Night.

I had a bunch of crazy dreams last night. The one that disturbed me the most was about my ex. I haven’t had a dream about him in forever. Anyway, in the dream we met up, and he started hugging me and saying to me "You know I love you, right?" I had no response, because I knew it was a lie. *Hahaha! Even in my dreams he's a liar.*

I felt myself enjoying the hug though, and that's what woke me up. This little nightmare happened around 3am. I say nightmare because of the anguish I went through in the dream and after I woke up. Lying in my bed I thought about all the things (lies) he said to me during the last few months we were messing around. It hurts to be lied to no matter what the arrangement is. In our case they weren’t necessary. Telling me he loved me, saying things about having a little girl with me, all this and more….just lies and bull shit from him. Shoot I'd be surprised if he even remembers saying that stuff to me now.

Destroying his precious car wouldn't even make me feel better. I just want him wiped from my mind. At this point I feel like "Okay, (brain/heart) it's over. He's not the person you thought he was. Just forget about him, and put the past 5 years behind you."

It just kills me that my subconscious is sabotaging me like this though. I just wish that there were a magical pill that would make me forget about him completely. The good, the bad, the trips, the fights, chilling with his adorable kids, the work place antics, the sex, the love, the hate, the hurt, EVERY GOTDAMNED THING!!!!! I don’t want to remember any of it.

I don’t even want to hate him. It’s tiring. I just want so badly for everything that went on between him and I to be wiped from my memory. I can't believe that things turned out to be so ugly between us, or that I wasted so much time with him.

I Hate Work!

This little guy knows how I feel, LOL! I imagine he's somewhere in between thinking.... "What the fuck are YOU looking at?, What the HELL do you want? & I’m going to KICK YOUR ASS!"
I don't know how or why he makes me laugh so hard, but he does. So he's my Thursday blessing. Why do I say blessing? Well it’s because before I saw him…I was really feeling like crap.

I had a headache, because I didn't get enough sleep. I had to train someone else this morning, and while I was flipping through papers I gave myself a paper-cut....ON MY BOTTOM LIP!!!!! Arghhhh! The next person that calls my name is gonna get "The Look"! And I'm gonna keep giving them “The Look” until they turn away from me.
Thank G-d I have my Advil.

Who do you want to give the look to, and why?

Peace

Happy n' Healthy

I am so tired. I've been working out a lot at the gym. Nothing too strenuous. I’m just trying to build up some stamina. Currently, I’m 143 pounds and 5'6". I would love to drop maybe 5-8 pounds, but I won't be destroyed if I don't. I know that when you gain muscle you can also gain weight, and I'm okay with that. You know what type of body I would love to have? Jennifer Gardners’, ala Alias. I think she's so pretty. Neither one of us are heavy up top either, ha-ha! But still she has a nice shape to her. She looks strong and centered, but not too diesel. I don’t want to look like I just stepped out of the old school "American Gladiators" TV show.

Anyone know how many laps around a track equal a mile and a half? I'm tired of the treadmill. Well actually, I shouldn't say that. It's not the treadmill. It's the fact that every time I jump on a treadmill, no matter how far I distance myself from the other people; someone has to get on the one right next to me. WHY???? It just irks me. I don't like to feel crowded for no good reason. Can I breathe? Shoot!

Yesterday, while I was working out I noticed that there was a woman working with a personal trainer in front of me. She was a very large woman. It was the first time I've seen her at the gym. In a day where people sometimes cheat and get gastric bypasses to lose weight, I was glad to see that she was making an effort to put in time at the gym. Even though she was complaining to the trainer about everything, LOL! I know 2 people who have had that surgery and the thought of it is so scary to me.

At this point I work out so that I can keep eating what I want. Eventually that’s going to have to stop though, because the crap I like to eat can’t be good for my heart. I think that I'll take the day off today (from the gym). I don't want to over-do it. I just sneezed and the pain in my stomach tells me I've done too many sit ups. Now, if I could figure out how to download music to my cell...I'd be good! If I could get free music I'd be great! All the music in the gym puts me to sleep.




Peace

Out and About.

This weekend was a little hectic for me. Saturday morning I went and got myself a French toast breakfast. Ate it, and fell into a deep sugar induced sleep afterwards (i'ma hafta look into that). Earlier in the week, I told my sister that I would give her a ride to our Aunts get-together. So around 3pm I woke up and called her to see if she still wanted to go out. Of course she said yes. I was still tired a shit but I dragged myself out of the bed and started getting ready to make moves.

Now about my dads family …. My father has 10 siblings, and they are a wild group. I never got to see them very often because of my mother. They aren’t mean or anything, but my mother (whom I lived with for most of my life) never really seemed to be on good terms with them. I think it was a jealousy thing. As a child, I knew that it was nothing that they did wrong. It was always because of my mother. They liked her. Heck according to them they still kinda like her (once family always family as far as they’re concerned), but because of the drama she was always going through with my father she kept my sister and I away from them.

I never wanted my mother to feel that I liked my fathers’ side more then her, even though I secretly usually did. My mom has always been very dependant on me and my sister. Her depression’s left her emotionally insecure. We all think it's because she doesn't have a life, and she can't/ won't work. That's just surface stuff though. I know that I've been a bit of an enabler, but shoot...she's my mother and I always though that she'd get better. The reality of the situation is that, I should have spent my childhood having fun and growing, and not trying to be the shrink that my mother needed. Oh well, can't go back in time. I didn't tell my mother that I was going to go to my Aunts party. I didn't feel like watching her spiral down into another pointless self deprecating episode. I think she suspected something was up though.

I left to pick up my sister, and then travelled back across the city to my Aunts house. We had a nice time, but left the block party around 8:15 pm. Both of us had other plans for the night.
I came back to the house so that I could hop in the shower again, and change clothes. Another friend was having a small get together downtown. I said hi to my mother as I was passing by, and I let her know Renee (that’s my sisters middle name) was outside talking to the next-door neighbors.



Mom: WELL SHE KNOWS WHERE I’M AT IF SHE WANTS TO SEE ME!

Me: Mom.....she is coming back here to see you. I was just letting you know in advance.

Mom: Oh....



Got damn! Why does everything have to be a battle, struggle, challenge, or a competition with my mother? Why all of the hostility? We are not two bitches off the street from her old neighborhood that she has beef with. We are her daughters for Christ sake! Neither one of us have put her through anything serious. Never once did she get a call from the schools saying that we were expelled. We never bought any babies into HER home; I never even smoked a cigarette....in life! The worst thing I ever did was bring in a few bad grades, and pout when it was time for piano lessons.Never asked anything of her. Stood by her. Tried to understand her. But still she insists on being a jerk.
I am tired of walking on eggshells around this woman. She wants everything to be about her. She is manipulative and cruel. And she passive aggressively demands loyalty that is completely unearned and undeserved.She wants everything. I can't be friends with my father, but she can. WHAT TYPE OF TOMFOOLERY IS THAT? Oh she’s completely crazy.She doesn’t even like me to have friends.

"Well mother my patience has run out. I'm tired of worrying about you first, and only. I have tried to work with you to break you out of this 25 year funk, but it’s pointless.You're not even a nice person at heart."

She left for New York again this Sunday. She was supposed to leave on Thursday to help my grandmother. Her phone broke as she was about to leave the house. I asked her if she wanted me to call my grandmother to let her know that she was on her way up there, and do you know what she said to me? "Wha….I don't care...do what you want." All ig'nant like.Well that was it for me. The final straw. I just went upstairs and changed my clothes. Came back outside and pulled off. I went to my friends house. I didn’t even wait for her to pull off and she damn sure didn’t get a goodbye. I spoke to my grandmother several times during the day.. My mother didn’t get there until exactly 12:00 midnight. It's only a 2 hour drive, and she left at 7:00pm. This lady just can't survive if people aren't stressing over her. Why she wouldn't stop to call from a pay phone to let somebody know something is beyond me. On top of everything she stole a whole big bottle of juice that I had stashed.Mother,Sometimes you're cool, but most of the time you're not.Your jealousy has overshadowed everything you do. It's like 50% of who you are.So I'm going to go back to "doin' me" You can keep lying in bed. There's no beef. I just need to be away from you. Yes, I will be moving back out SOON!!!




Peace

I Spy....

I spy with my brown eyes something that starts with "D". Can you guess what it is? No? Okay I'll tell you........ a

Drop Top Hearse.

It was the hottest thing I've ever seen on wheels. LOL! I tried to get a picture, but it pulled around the corner before I could take it.



What do you spy, that just ain't right.....(besides the grammatical structure of this post!)


Peace

Clean the Filter

Ever since I stopped messin' around with my ex, things have been going well for me. Saturday I got the letter that I'd been waiting for. The results from the Police Officers Recruit exam that I took in June. I PASSED!!!!!!! Yay!

I was starting to think that they forgot about me. Next thing I need to worry about is the physical. I've been going to the gym a lot lately. Hope it pays off for me.

Now that I have a lot more free time on my hand I have also been able to hang out with family more. I've also been able to spend more time with my crazy lil' god-son.

I really think that the negativity that my ex carried around with him was polluting my aura. It covered me like a shell. Now that he's gone, I am open to receive the gifts that the world has for me. However small they might be, I am happy to receive them.

What do you have going on in your life that you are happy about?
Share with your girl!




Peace

Update on The Ex, aka “G”, aka Papi, aka Cut-buddy!

JMW & DC, y'all might not like this.

I started to fuck with my ex again because I was bored, and horny. I figured that since we were pretty compatible, (in bed) that, ehhh…..why not. Also, with him, I already knew most of his drama. There weren’t supposed to be any surprises.

There were other contributing factors I guess. Like I said before, (in older posts) my ex and I met in late 2002. Before I met him I had been abstinent for a little over a year. (Wait, does it still count as abstinence if you “satisfy your own needs”?) Anyway….. I’ve only had sex with one person since 2001. Too scared to lay down with anyone else I guess. Or, too lazy to look for another dude that could satisfy me. Anyway, for whatever reason I started to mix it up with him, it was a big mistake….BIG ……HUGE!!!!

The problems started about two weeks ago. We had plans to go out, but instead he asked me if I wanted to come to a picnic that his family was having. I said, “oh….you and the boys?” referring to his twin sons whom I adore. He said “no, everyone”. Well y’all know I had to pass on that. His family and I don’t really get along on account of the fact that I don’t respect any of them. Feel no need to be around those dramatic fools. And, I need to save all of my fake smiles for work…..Ya feel me????? Well after I said “no”, he had an attitude with me. Didn’t speak to me for a couple of days. Giving me the fuggin silent treatment like a damn girl. That’s around the time that my uncle died. I really didn’t need that extra shit. When we finally did speak, he was acting all funny. Lawd! I can’t stand a bitch ass dude. I could hear the attitude all in his voice. In my head I was like “Damn…..do you not remember how your mother was discreetly campaigning for your babies’ mom, while at the same time calling me her daughter in law? Inviting her to every single event she knew I would be at. Calling me on the phone, and asking me not to beat her ass?”

I remember that two faced shit. Anyway, days flew by and the anger both of us were feeling, kinda’ just faded away. He started to whisper sweet nothings in my ear …. again (this has been going on a lot within the past few months).

For some reason it didn’t sit well with me though.

When we started this *cut-buddy* relationship, we established that it would just be sex. I didn’t ask him how many women he was sleeping with. All I ever said was “be safe”. At first he was cool with that. Then whenever I would say it he would *act* all offended as if I were calling him a whore :) That’s when he really started acting as if I were his one and only. Even told me he wasn’t speaking/dealing with anyone else. Went so far as to let me lay up in his house when he wasn’t home. LOL!

Don’t get it twisted though, he always took his cell with him. That’s his second dick…his most prized possession. All of his little secrets neatly packed away into a tiny hand held fortress. And let me tell you. Like his real dick, he took it with him EVERYWHERE.

I remember one time, I had slept over. All night long his phone rang, but he would never answer it. The next morning he woke up and went to the bathroom. While he was in there his phone rang again. I looked at the phone and before I could even read the “m” in “Kim” I heard him running down the hall. LOL! All in a panic. I just walked by him and said “Kim called”. He (of course) had the stupid face. I just got my shit together and rolled. Laughing to myself, as he had a hissy fit in the background. Acting all confused, defensive & guilty. I should’ve never come back after that, but the dick was calling me. So this Friday, I end up sleeping over again. People were blowing up his phone all night long.

Saturday morning @ 7:00am, I wake him up because he has to get ready for work. While he’s in the shower, his phone rings. Twice actually. Both times the same girl..... Kim. I took that golden opportunity to go through his phone. Why?... Why not? Took a few numbers down, checked the pictures…..none of me up in there, but there were like 6 other girls. Some cute…..some not. I had taken a shower earlier in the morning. All I needed to do was brush my teeth and wash my face. When I was done I mentioned that he had a couple of missed calls. Keep in mind that it is 7:00am in the damn morning. Who else but a girlfriend calls that early?


Me: Kim called.

Him: Oh.

Me: Twice.

Him: (silent acting busy)

Me: So, is she another friend from work?

Him: No. She’s someone I’m trying to make stop calling me.

Me: Oh! ……….I went through your phone while you were in the shower
Papi.

Him: (inaudible noise) I don’t care.

Me: What about Tameka and Nikki? You trying to snub them too?

Him: They’re just friends. (Straight doo-doo face)

Me: Okay. (Gave him a lil’ smile)



Okay you want to play it cool? That’s fine with me. While I was walking to my car, he called out to me. “Damn, no kiss goodbye?” I said, “Yeah, just let me pull my car around first. I want to get out of this rain, ya know.” As I pull up alongside of his car, he has this face…like he’s waiting for me to snap. I just smiled and said. “I didn’t mess up your day did I? You look kind of nauseous.”
He said no, so I just smiled, and said I would call him later.

I knew what I was going to do. I was going to call them. I was in a rare mood. Feelin’ kinda bitchy. I get like that occasionally. This other part of me that I don’t really understand is hard to control at times. Sometimes I (the rational Nic) can control her. Other times…it’s like I just decides to sit back and enjoy the show.

I pulled up to my house and called “G”. I told him that I had taken a few numbers down and that I had to go make some calls. All in a little sing songy voice. And do you know what this fool said. "Okay Nic."
I go in the house and call Kim. I’m polite, but get straight to the point. We hit it off. She was cool. She asked me if he and I were in a relationship, and I told her “no, but with everything 'G’s' been saying it might be a possibility. I just want to make sure of a few things, before we go any further”. She seemed to corroborate his story right off the bat, which doesn’t really mean shit cause tricks lie. Her first words to me were
“Oh so what, did he tell you to call me? Did he tell you to say you’re his girl, and he don’t want me?” I explained how I got the number, told her why I called her. And let her know that he did not tell me to make any calls.

Well we got of the phone, (no beef I swear), and about 5 minutes later my phone rings. It’s “G” and he's mad as hell. Screaming and carrying on a lot over a call to someone he supposedly doesn’t even like. I was laughing to my self as he tried to jump down my throat. He was acting so out of character, and that’s how I knew that there was something serious going on between him and one of the other women. As he was “talking” to me, all I could do was laugh and say,
“Didn’t I tell you I was going to do this though? Did you think that I pulled those names out of thin air? Have I ever lied to you before? Well whose fault is it that you never took me seriously? Maybe that was your problem!”

I think that he was just scared that I was going to call the next group of girls, and mess up his plans. Well I don’t really need to do I. What ever those girls are doing, is on them. They aren’t of any real interest to me. The whole thing was just hilarious though. I mean really I expected more from him.I honestly thought that he would be able to have better control over situations like this. The whole thing makes me laugh, because…….well he fucked up. Wasn't I supposed to be completely under his control! Ha! Please!!!!! I know, deep down inside that I shouldn’t have stooped to his level of game playing, but darnit I want to have fun too. I mean shit I figure he’s been playing with my mind for years now, it’s only right that I be able to jerk him around too. All he had to do was just keep things sex based. He’s the one that started that “I still love you” crap. Not to mention that “let’s make a baby” shit. Pluheese!

If he would have just gripped me up, thrown me down, had his way with me and left me sleep on the ground…I would have been fine. Shit I love that type of stuff. Use me up baby! That’s what I get off on.He’s the one that tried to use the ole’ "rope-a-dope" tactics on me. BUT FOR WHAT? Why couldn’t he just keep it real with me? PUNK AZZ! Did he think that that was the only way he could keep me coming back to him? Fill me up lies…..keep me dazed and confused. Dude, it’s 2007 get your shit together. Don’t you know me by now? Don’t you know that I value honesty above everything? Dumb ass! So now you’re pouting cause some shit done blown up in your face and you didn’t see it coming. Bwahahahah! Didn’t I tell you not to fuck with my emotions? Did you think that I was really going to put my life on hold so that I could chase you around Philadelphia? Naw buddy! You can kiss my beautiful brown ass.Now I’m over here laughin’ to myself. Petty much? Yeah... I know it, but so fuggin’ what ! Karma’s a bitch, and I have a feeling that it’s just getting started with him.


Here are a few links, for anyone who wants to catch up on "The Ex".

Backsliding Again
Friday’s Trying to Destroy Me!
I Promised I’d Be Honest With Y’all!
I’m Getting Married Y’all……One Day.
Text Messaging While Tired.
Awwww Tuesday….
Is Paternity Becoming a Non-Issue?

Peace