Tomfoolery

Sitting here at work on the day after Christmas.....What part of the game is this?

Are you where you want to be right now?

C.O.P.S. 2

Monday, I received a call while I was at work. It was the personnel department of the city, telling me to report for my Police recruit physical 8:30am the next day. No real notice, no time for me to hit the gym back up. Oh well, after work, I went to Wal-Mart to get a sweatshirt and a scully hat, because I hate cold weather and I didn’t want to get sick. The rest of my day/night was normal. I ate some Wendy’s and went to sleep after talking on the phone to ******* for a few hours.

I got there early, but it didn’t really matter. Nothing started until way after 9am. Everyone else there received the same courteous 24 hour notice call. There were a lot of people there who had taken the test a few times already. A little more then 50 people arrived all together. Mostly men of course. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits, so I didn’t mind the wait.

There were four activities that I was going to have to complete.
30 sit-ups in a minute
300 meter in 75 seconds
70lb bench press (one time only)
1.5 miles in 15:56 minutes

So we started out with 52 or 53 people. I don’t remember which one. After the sit-ups the group was cut down to about 25 people. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. Just the last two kinda had me shaking, but I was thinking about that benefits package and I pulled them out.
Then the sprint…longest 72 seconds of my life. There were only 2 people to fail that part. One dude got all belligerent, so after he was thrown out, they gave us an advisory speech. Explaining to the slower ones that they would still have to pass a psych eval, and that their behavior today could/would influence the final decision. The bench press was easy, but there were a few people that could not cut it. There were a couple that just didn’t follow instructions.

Oh well, so then it was time for me to do my mile and a half run. This is the thing I was dreading. I told y’all months ago that I would have a hard time with that.

Long story short, after standing outside in the cold for the first group of 8 to go. I didn’t make it. My time was 17 minutes and 20 seconds.


Oh well! I’m still really proud to have made it that far. And the good news is that I will be able to take the test again soon. Next time I’ll be ready, and I’ll also bring a stop watch of my own.


Peace

Oh yeah, That's how I like it!

So I had this crazy ass dream at around 3 in the morning. I can’t stop thinking about it.

It was short and sweet. In the dream, I was having naked fun with Greg…my ex. I was infront of him (on my knees I guess) and all of a sudden he just took like a little half a step back and shot out all of this delectable, hot, cum. I mean, it was as if someone were squeezing a Capri sun juice box or something. It was so much. So me being the type of girl I am, just stuck out my chest and told/begged him to squirt it all over me. He obliged, and then I woke up. Now, I’m at work squeezing my legs together. Damn I have to get some dick soon.


Too much info? Oh well.

New News

Hey everyone,

I’m sorry that I went on hiatus again. I’ve been busy with work and stuff. Y’all know the drill. Let me give you all a little update on the going-ons of my life.

First off, in the time between now and the last post, I have come out of the “I miss my ex” funk. Thank the lord! Now I’m not gonna’ lie to y’all, I have been in contact with him this month, but there was no screwin’. We just spoke on the phone a couple of times, and exchanged a few texts. My favorite of which goes as followed….

Him: HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Me: Kill ya’self!

I took a little time, and apologized for my extreme comment. Saying that I shouldn’t let my anger towards him cause me to stoop to a new low. But then I also added that I just needed him to keep his future holiday greetings to himself. He was cool about it.

I’ve been dating a really nice guy named *******. He’s someone I met in college waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy back in the day. We kinda reconnected around September, and with the exception of a minor break, have been chilllin’ ever since. We haven’t slept together, because I’m just so not ready for that. But he keeps me happy in other ways. He’s always a complete gentleman. And he lets me be my true bossy self, which I love! Our relationship is one that I have complete control over. I let him know that, what I’m interested in doing with him is getting to know him better, so that I can consider moving him from the associate category to the friend category. I know that he likes me, but so the fuck what?!!?! I’m not going to get into a relationship with anyone unless I know everything about them, and I can call them a true friend. He knows about most of the stuff I had to go through with my ex (back in the day) so he’s pretty patient and understanding. I don’t know if I could ever commit myself to ******* (long term) because (as you might have gathered) he’s a bit of a push-over, but... he keeps me content right now, and that’s what I need.


Now, onto Police business.
I have taken and passed my test (older readers know that already), but since then, I have also gone to my recruit orientation, my first interview, and I’ve had my medical evaluation. The next thing that I have to do is be scheduled for, (and take) my physical agility test. If I pass that then the only thing left for me would be the psych exam and the eval. This whole process is taking forever, but it’s understandable. I’m just really anxious!


Work?!?!?I don’t EVEN want to talk about it!

Peace

Why Why Why?

I have a date with a very nice guy tonight...

Why is it that all I want to do is lay on my bed, think about my ex, cry and listen to After the Love is Gone - by Brian McNight?

p.s. This is a fan made video, but I like it.

Have a good weekend y'all,

Peace

I Bust my Ass Again!

Some of you might know that for the past 5 months I have been living at my mothers’ house. So now that I’m back under her roof there are certain rules of hers that I have to respect. The main one that I seem to be having a problem understanding/dealing/respecting is the fact that she’s trying to adopt this annoying ass stray cat. Now I love animals, but this one has clawed my last nerve. Every time I go to step out of my car he’s there, tripping me up. I can’t even get into my house without him running past me. He cries constantly, and if he thinks that I am going to try and put him out of the house via nudging/kicking him with my foot then he does this stop drop and roll thing, which pretty much prevents me from shooing him away without touching him with my hands. Nic is not about picking up stray dirty cats (remember I’m a germaphobe). And the fucked up thing is that you just know that he was put out of his real/first home in the first place for being annoying as fuck.

So last night I’m on the phone with *******, and I look out the back door to see that this cat-dog (cause he’s big as shit) was lying on the hood of my car. Nic is also not about having scratch marks on the paint baby!
So anyway, I tell ****** that I’m 'bout to get that cat off of my car, by hitting the alarm button on my key chain. So as I’m saying this the cat is rolling around on my car. He’s half ass sliding off, then scrambling and using every sharp little nail he has to save himself from falling off the hood.
So I hit the button, and only let the horn blast once, because 1.) ….I didn’t realize that the horn alarm was that loud (I didn’t want to kill the things eardrums), and 2.) I see how startled he is. What I did was unnecessary and mean, but I was still cracking the hell up. So I’m laughing on the phone telling ******* what happened, and leaning on the back screen door, when I almost fall outside. I get my balance and laugh to my friend “Shit…let me stop laughing cause I almost fell out the back door!” I turn around to walk up two little steps, just as my friend was saying something to me about karma.

Well my foot went for the step, but my slipper didn’t, and instead got snagged on the lower of the two steps. I took the second worst trip/fall/“L” in my life. I swear, I think I flew for a second, because that’s the position I was in when I finally hit the ground. Arms fully extended. Phone and car keys lost under the refrigerator. All I could was laugh. I found my phone and keys and just lay there on the floor, and laughed for a good 5-6 minutes. My friend on the phone was laughing too. I tried to get up and gather myself, but I was still laughing too hard. My stomach was hurting so badly, and him laughing on the other end of the phone was not helping. It’s like the more I laughed, the more he laughed, and then the more he laughed the more I laughed. I get the giggles sometimes, and I’m the first person to laugh at myself usually so you know I was dying. We laughed for the rest of the night.

Message…..It doesn’t pay to be a bitch! But sometimes, it’s funny as hell

Random

Even this bitch is married!?!!!?!??!?!?!?




Peace, be still.

Tagged Bitchessssssssssss

Kiki plays too much!!!!!!!!!! She tagged me a couple of weeks ago, and my lazy ass is just getting around to doing it. Don’t judge me!

Here be the rules.

A). Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog...

B). Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself...

C). Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs...

D). Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.


1. I hate the winter time. I can’t stand to be cold and the sound of snow under my feet grates my nerves.

2. I drive fast. Most would say like a dude without the navigational problems.

3. I truly believe that Scorpios are the best Zodiac sign. Sexy, smart, confident, sneaky when we need to be, loyal, and passionate about everything we do. What could be better?

4. I would rather be dead then to be paralyzed. Para or quadriplegic, it doesn’t matter. The thought of being that helpless and dependant freaks me out. (I do apologize if I offended anyone with this comment. It’s just the way I feel.)

5. I love Johnny Depp. And I mean really love him. I think he is the weirdest, sexiest, most humble actor out there, and I wish him and his family (fiancé included) nothing but the best. Whatever makes him happy makes me happy. Yes it’s that damn serious! Don’t judge me!

6. I’m a sucka for movies. I cry over silly movies, like Major Payne… Really, any movie which features a group of people overcoming something. And if I’m watching a movie and one of the characters embarrass themselves, I can’t help but to look away, and/or cover my eyes.

7. I’m a hater. I can’t stand forgetful people, and people who think that they can’t do anything for themselves. If a bitch is 25 years old, and she can’t even wash and blow-dry her own hair……….I’m judging her. I also hate people who think that they always know the same people that I know. Example: I could be talking an associate, whom I know has never held down a real job in their life and on top of that they might have some criminal tendencies, but they will swear up and down that they know the same 50 year old John from corporate @ my office. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhano!

I’m tagging Ms. Behaving, Ray Ray, Sheletha, Thea, Keelah, Khoney330, & Tanyetta.

The funniest phone call I’ve ever received!

So yesterday was my birthday. I went to work feeling a little nauseous because I’d eaten some nasty cheese burger from Burger King the night before, but other then that my day was regular. After work I hurried to the other end of town to get my Driver’s license renewed. The DMV center wasn’t busy at all, and the employees were all very nice, so that was a plus, because I was not in the mood for any negativity yesterday. When that was all over I went home to get dressed. A male friend of mine called dibbs on my birthday night months ago, so we were headed out to the Cheesecake Factory at around 7:30pm.

I’m in my room, toweling off from my shower when I see my phone flashing that little red light that means I missed a call. It was a number that I didn’t recognize, and I’d only missed the call by 2 minutes so I called it back. I let it ring 4 times and then I hung up. A few seconds later it rang. Same number, so I answered it.

Some male voice that I didn’t recognize was saying “Happy birthday Miss Nic!” He sounded like some distant geeky religious uncle or something. I asked who it was but they would only repeat the same thing, and that was “Happy Birthday Miss Nic!!!!!” I couldn’t place the voice, but I knew it was someone messing with me. So I asked again “Who am I speaking to?”
That’s when the caller broke out laughing.

You will never guess who it was………………………………………….. My ex-best friends’ babies’ daddy.

Well you could have knocked me over with a feather. Oh he went on and on talking about how our birthdays are right next to each other. That his brother still wanted to talk to me. That he and his girl were going to the Cheesecake Factory the next night. And isn’t it crazy that were both going there for our birthdays…………….must be because we’re Scorpios, blah blah blah. The whole time I’m thinking that “This Nigga is crazy!” I knew that the only way he would be able to get my number was through my ex-BFF. She always said that he was crazy, but I didn’t think it would manifest itself this way. Why would he think that we were buddies? Idonknow?!?!?!?! I guess, since we’ve never really had a falling out he’s assumed that we’re cool.

All I could do was laugh, shake my head and say “Thank you.”

I can’t believe that with everything he put my once BFF through, he thought he and I were cool enough to call my phone. I would have said something along the lines of “Aaaaaahrahhhummmmm……….yeah, don’t call back please, you’re weirding me out.” All that would have done is cause more drama in their lives. And while I’m sure that that is something that they both enjoy very much, I don’t want to have any parts in it. I just really couldn’t believe that he called MY PHONE.

She’s got a winner, LOL!!!!!! I wish them both the best, for the sake of my godson, whom by the way is doing great.



Love y'all,
Nic

Shoulda titled that last post…."When The Shit Hits the Fan!!!!!"

Annnnnnnnywaaaayyy………………

So y’all know that boy was headed for a major meltdown right?
I went back over there a few times that week. Let me tell you what happened. On the 20th I went over to my friends’ house to chill. Grandma came over at around 4:30pm with “D”. He immediately started to act up. Nothing major at first, just that running in and out the house 50 times per minute. That’s just how little boys do sometimes. Well grandma wasn’t having it this day. I hear her yelling to him to get in the house and do his homework while I’m lounging upstairs. G’ma is super pissed because he got another bad report in school again (behavioral stuff). So I walk down the steps to (be nosey) get something, and as I do I hear her tell “D” again to get his bookbag, and come in the house to start his homework. Well “D” didn’t like that at all, because he came in the house slammed the door behind him and threw (an overhand throw by the way) his book bag at his grandmother who was sitting at the dining room table about 20 feet away. He then started to yell/whine & stomp. I’m thinking “This lil’ boy needs his as whooped cuss he just wants to do whatever he wants”. So you know what I did? I walked out the front door, and let his grandmother give him the spanking/beating he deserved. An hour later he was back to being bad.


A few days later he had a really bad asthma attack. I don’t know what brought it on, but it was real. His little chest was sunken in, and the poor thing was crying because he was so out of breath. They took him to the hospital to see what was what, and the dummies at the hospital sent him back home. He spent a few hours in the house, but he was lethargic and wheezing so badly that they decided to take him back up there. This time they gave him some type of steroids, to get his breathing back to where it needed to be.

Well I was at the house when he came back and what I saw still has me amazed. I’ve never seen “D” so focused in my life. Those steroids did something magical to that boy! Instead of jumping down entire flights of stairs and using the railings on the porch to climb to the second story ledge he just sat down and started to play with some toys. The doctors said that the medicine was going to make him hyper. I was pleasantly surprised at how it worked in his system. His breathing got back to normal, and he actually calmed down a lot. I watched & listened as he read the same story book 6 times. FOCUSED!!!!!!!! I whispered to my friend “He’s focused as shit right now.” She laughed and kinda stopped paying attention to what “D” was doing and started watching TV. The days since then have been so much better. I’m not sure if it was the steroids, or if he was just happy to have gotten so much attention, or if he was happy to be out of the hospital (who likes getting poked at?!?!) But he was actually acting like he had some sense.

He was cool for a few days after that, and then it was back to the usual crap.

This little boy is out of control. The tantrums come every time he’s told to stop playing around.

I asked my friend if they’d ever considered taking him to therapy. She said that she had, but that the grandmother wasn’t really pressed about doing that.

To be continued……………………………………………………

Don't Want to See Another Child Lost!

I’m concerned about the welfare of a child I know. He’s not getting beat on, or anything like that. He has a roof over his head, goes to school every day, has plenty of toys to play with, and always has food to eat. What he’s lacking is any type of structure, and I think that he might need some type of therapy.

Let me give you a general idea of my concerns and of how this little boy has been acting up since…… god knows when.

I’ll call him “D” for now.

“D” has been raised by his grandmother since he was born. His mother, a striper and drug addict, has 7 other children. I’ve met her a few times. She has a good heart, but she lacks control and self esteem. She’s not able to take care of the children she has. Last time I heard anything about her she was in a re-habilitation center/institution, and the state had taken custody of the children she did have around her.

“D’s” father is locked up, and I don’t even know how much time he has left. He’s never been “available” to raise his own son, and as far as I know, his only fatherly contributions have been a few jail-house drawings (by other inmates), and a $7 a month child support check. He has ADHD and a career plan that reads “DON’T GET CAUGHT AGAIN!”

So it’s fallen upon the grandmother to raise this child. Shouldn’t be a huge problem right? Wrong. Currently granny has 5 other people living in the house not including herself and “D”. This is the smallest amount of people I’ve ever known to live there though. I stayed there for a little while (maybe 5 years ago), and when I was living there, there were no less then 10 people….every-single-night! And all of us are female except for young “D”. Granny is not a young woman, so she can’t/wont/doesn’t care to chase him around. She lets him do what ever he pleases knowing that he won’t have to suffer any consequences. Hence the reason he climbed out onto the third floor ledge 3 years ago.

My concern is that she is raising this child like a grandmother, and not the mother that she really is/needs to be. By that I mean that all she does is spoil him, and shelter him from the repercussions of his actions. Shoot! I actually heard her tell her 25 year old daughter to “do his homework!” Tuesday night. This demand was made, after and while the boy was outside playing on his bike all day and night. Wow!!!

So……he’s a little spoiled. What’s the big deal…right? Here’s my biggest concern. There’s a new baby in the house. Now he’s been doing the typical “jump/cry/pout for attention” thing. A lot of kids do that though, when there’s a new baby in the house. We (my friend and I) already figured that he would regress some but what I’m bout to tell you definitely falls outside the norm.

He pooped on himself! On purpose! And continued about his day as if no one would notice. He’s not slow in the least. He’s going to be 8 on Christmas day, and he’s actually in advanced classes in school. I asked my friend if he had had a stomach ache, thinking that, well maybe he was sick and couldn’t make it to the bathroom; like explosive diarrhea. My friend informed me that that was not the case. She told me that he walked into the room while she was platting her sons’ hair. “D” happily exclaimed “Ooooh!!! “Insert baby’s name here” is getting his hair done?” Like nothing in the world had happened. She said it smelt so bad that she knew he had to have done something. When she asked him the first time if he sh*t himself, he said nothing. The second time she asked though, he responded by saying "“insert baby’s name here” poops on himself all the time!" The baby “D’s” referring to just turned 1 this month.

“D’s” never been one to poop or even pee his pants. Of course they had to take the clothes, I don’t know what they did with them…..but she told me that it was indeed grown man sh*t. No conversations were had with “D” regarding this event.

The new baby in the house has definitely made things worse. I suspect it’s at the root of his stealing, writing on the leather of car seats, anything to get attention really. It doesn’t really matter what it is.

And don’t even think about going over there to try and hold the new baby. Ohhhhhhhhhh no no no no!!!! He’ll be all over you like white on rice. No, he won’t actually ask for you to play with him, he’ll just conveniently place himself between you and the baby. I don’t think that that would be so annoying if he weren’t so hyper & posessvie, and I don’t think that things would be so out of hand if some one would sit down and really talk with him. Hear his concerns. He’s an articulate kid. I’m sure something can be done.


All I can really do right now is pray, but what I want to do is recommend some child and/or parental counseling or therapy, but how do you offer advice to a family that doesn’t really seem to like to go outside the box? Maybe I’m overreacting……naw f*ck that! *Thinking back to all the crazy things I’ve seen him do these past 7.9 years! * That kid needs help!

I know I have a problem with taking other peoples issues onto myself, so I’m hesitant to even say anything. It’s just really eating at me though. Should I just keep my mouth shut and be thankful “D’s” not my kid?

HELP!!!! I need some real advice!



Peace

I Was Just Curious.......

On average, while you’re blogging, do you leave mostly positive/agreeable comments in the response sections, or do you usually take the opportunity to write something contradictory to the authors post, just for controversy’s sake? Do you find that you just naturally disagree with what most people are thinking? Do you comment for laughs? Or, are you a lurker?

This is an open question to everyone (lurkers too). I’ve never really had a problem with negative comments. But I have seen (on other blogs) a few commenters that always seem to be getting into s*** with the authors, and even other commenters.

Nothing wrong with one or two s*** starters I guess, LOL! It keeps things from getting boring, IMHO. I hope that everyone who visits my lowly blog feels comfortable enough to say whatever is on their minds. Even if it’s “Shut tha f*** up Nic!!!!!” Hahahaha!!!!!! I know that I don’t write many controversial posts ……. so this question applies to any and all other blogs you regularly read.

You can answer anonymously if you prefer.


Peace…………… And thank you in advance for not “OUTING” any one in particular.




Much Love,
Nic

Quickie

I was standing outside of my job yesterday, just talking on the phone to a new friend, when my ex rode by me in his ambulance truck. He didn’t stop. Didn’t even look my way, witch is kinda funny because about a couple of weeks ago he sent me a text saying “I’m sorry!” I hadn’t made any attempt to contact him and his text message was out of the clear blue. I didn’t put too much stock into it because, well for one it was sent at close to 2am on a Saturday morning (booty call time). And two…..it was just a damn text! The most impersonal way of communication known to man. I responded with a … “It’s cool” the next day, and just kinda forgot about him.

Of course, after seeing him I had an awful dream. In the dream, he came into my room with this weird rose vine for me and lay in my bed. He started to stroke my hair and back, and then started saying some crap to me, about never leaving me again. This shit, of course, woke me up.

I’m confused, because my subconscious is playing games again. Just some residual bull shit I guess. Oh well, the good thing is that when I saw him yesterday, I didn’t feel hate for him. I didn’t feel anything actually. I just finished talking to my friend for as long as his lunch break allowed.



Peace

A letter to Ms. Jones.

Marion Jones, why are you trying to destroy me?

I’ve never done anything to you, and still you decided to give me the migraine headache of all times this morning?

I staggered around my house trying to wake up enough, so that I wouldn’t drown myself in the shower, and while listening to the news, I hear that you plan to admit to steroid use!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

After all those accusations, and all that denying??????

Immediately, I felt let down and embarrassed. At first I thought that it might be a racial thing. You know…. as an African American woman, I got that “she set us back” feeling.

But then, after a little time, I realized that that wasn’t the case at all. Race couldn’t have been my issue, because I didn’t care at all when that Barry Bonds steroid case came to light. And he’s a man of color.

My migraine came from this………..


YOU GOT ME MARION JONES!


You tricked me into believing that you were wrongly accused of using drugs. I was on your side. I defended your image during all the speculation. And you were lying through your baby teeth. You’re a cheat and a liar and I hate you!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, okay, …….. lol. That was a little extreme and childish so I take that back. I’m sorry, it’s just that, I hate to be wrong. Anyway...that's all I have to say.


Thanks for nothing,
Nic



p.s. Kick rocks!

What Goes Around....

Antoine and I have been friends since my second year at college. That puts us ruffly around 2001. We have never been romantic, because I just don't like him like that. He has however made it known (a few times) that he is interested in me. We had a falling out a year and a half ago, because he could not comprehend the fact that I wasn't interested in starting a relationship. *If you've been reading this blog for a while than you can do the math. I was still messing around with my ex-boyfriend.* So anyway Antoine and I fell into the "a man and a woman can't be "friends" if their not screwing" category. We had a falling out where I cussed him out.......ROYALLY! and then we didn't speak for about a year. Well a few months ago, he reached out and apologized for the argument, and for not being understanding. I told him that I meant everything I said, and couldn't apologize for it. I was however willing to squash it, and that was cool enough for him. Not to sound vain or anything, but I guess he was just happy to be talking to me again.

So for the past few months we've been talking on the phone, going to movies, hanging out here and there. Nothing too serious, because I am not ready to be tied down just yet. He says that he will be patient. LOL! We'll see.

Since the car incident, I've been feeling kinda down. On Sunday (after they towed my car), he told me that he wanted to chill with me on Wednesday after work. I was happy to hear that, because I just wanted to get the whole thing off of my mind. Tuesday...while we were on the phone I asked him if we were still on for the following day. He says in a real apologetic tone that he can't, because he has to meet some lady about a job with Aflac, and that they would be going out to dinner after he gets off at his current job at 5pm.

Uhhhhhhhhh Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. So now we're corporate negotiators?

I said cool, and made other plans. Tuesday night, he calls me, sounding all pitiful, asking me if I could join him at this business dinner, because he was nervous or some sh!t.


Me: Ohhh, I'm sorry. When you cancelled on me I went on ahead and made other plans.

Him: (crickets chirping)

Me: Are you still there?

Him: Yeah.......just kinda.....(inaudible)

Me: Are you okay?

Him: I guess, I'm just kinda salty now. I was hoping I could see you, but I guess I messed up....There's no way huh?


Me: Well (laughing to myself), let me see if I can move some things around, okay? (without the slightest intention of doing any such thing.......I don't cancel on people unless there's a real emergency). I'll call you back in a minute.


So I hang up and get out of the rental, which I'm starting to like by the way, and head to my friends house. I tell the story and we laugh and sit down to watch "The Academy" at around 8:00pm. I leave her house at 10:00pm and call him after I take my sweet time to get into bed.



Me: Hey "A".... Did I wake you?

Him: No, what's up? (as happy as a puppy) Can I see you tomorrow?

Me: (insert fake sympathetic sigh) I'm sorry. I tried to move some things around, but....well I didn't want to cancel on them. I didn't want to be rude, you know. Maybe we can kick it another time.

Him: Okay.



We got off the phone after that. I slept pretty good. The next day he calls while I'm at work to ask how my day is going. I talk to him for a little while, the whole time maintaining my usual sugary sweet tone. With the work day over, I head home. Make it to my bed and try to catch a little sleep before I have to get up and dressed again. He calls at 5:15pm.



Him: Hey! How are you!

Me: (Sounding groggy, cause I was just falling asleep) Umm......I'm okay. How are you? Are you on your way to the restaurant?


Him: Man! I am so salty. You know I was going to meet the lady about my job, but my little sister called with an emergency, so I ended up rescheduling.

Me: Oh my g-d is she okay!?!?!?!?!?

Him: Yeah, remember I told you that she wanted me to buy her that phone? ( Awkward silence) Yeah, well anyway, she called me and asked me to meet her after work so I could go and get that with her.

Me: (silent)

Him: Are you still there?

Me: Yup.

Him: Oh, and the crazy thing is that after I cancelled with Aflac she (his sister) ended up telling me that she would just grab it another day.

Me: You cancelled an appointment about a higher paying job to get you sister, whom you see all the time, a phone? (thinking that either he has a really unhealthy relationship with his sister, or there was really no career negotiations to be had in the first place)

Him: (sounding a little defensive) Well, my relationship with my sis has been strained for a while, and I really want us to be cool. It may not be important to you or anyone else, but it's important to me.

Me: (with the sweetest and most patient voice you'd ever want to hear) Well "A", if it's important to you than that's all that really matters, right?

Him: Right. (calming down and sounding relieved) I just feel like an ass for canceling on two people. So....What are you doing?

Me: Just trying to get some rest before I go out.

Him: Oh, so you're still going out?

Me: Yep!

Him: Oh.....okay then. I guess I'll be able to find something to do.

Me: You always do.

Him: ............................... I'll let you go so you can get ready. Call me when you get in.

Me: (in my dismissive voice) Uh-huh,__________ goodnight Antione.

Him: Damn it's like that? Okay. Goodnight Nic.




I really wasn't that upset with him, I just wanted to teach him a lesson. My time is valuable, and I, just like a lot of other people on this earth don't like to be jerked around.

Peace .

Sorry

Well the next few post will be a series of my unfortunate events.

Sunday 2:00am a drunk driver hit the sh!t out of my car. I had just parked it in front of the house. My new neighbor (some young married dude) held the driver for close to 45 minutes while we were waiting for the police. Unfortunately things got sticky when the passenger of that vehicle came back for his buddy, and helped him make a dash. The cops came 5 minutes later. I can't believe my luck sometimes!

Anyway, both officers were very nice. There was a black male in an unmarked, and a black female in a regular police car.

My favorite moment of the night had to be after the drunk offered us a measly $200.00 to let him go. The neighbor looks at my mom, and says.... "Do you want me to let him go?" mom says "no" then he says "Sorry, can't let you go then." And then he says real nice-like, "You're lucky you didn't hit my car.........I'd probably have killed you." The drunk was speechless. In the end, the cops didn't get the guys. The car wasn't registered to them (some girl in Elkins Park). It also wasn't insured. My car (04' sable) is done, and I just put $380.00 into it that Thursday. On top of everything I am going to end up paying the deductible, but at least I know that I have a great neighbor who went out of his way to do something for someone that he hardly knows.

I went out the next day to get him a "Thank you" card and a gift card from Target. I could only put $20.00 on it cause I am so broke. I wish I could have done more for him. He had a wife and a bunch of kids in that house, and I'm sure that he knows (like I know) that anything could have happened.

Well that's it for now. I have a bunch of other stuff to share with you guys. Love life stuff, work, and just hum-drum regular life stuff. TTY tomorrow!

So Tired

I am so tired. As I'm typing this, my left eyelid is jumping. I am in serious need off some good sleep. I had something that I wanted to share, but honestly I'm too tired to write about all of that right now. Maybe I'll be able to pull myself together by tomorrow. I think I was in the beginning stages of catching a cold. I took a couple of Advil's last night, before I went to bed. I was just trying to ensure that I didn't wake up with a scratchy throat, and a snotty nose. Now I have an "Advil hangover". I am a lightweight, and I can't take anything really strong. I could never be a drug addict. I'd probably overdose and die from a lungfull of weed smoke. Well, back to me not feeling well... I just really don't feel like being at work today. I feel weak all over, and I didn't even really do anything strenuous yesterday. I can't wait until the weekend!

I'll get at y'all later!

Football Season

I'm so tired of the Eagles.
Donovan McNabb is exhausting my patience, to say the least.
Why did they let Jeff Garcia go?
I am so disgusted.
Andy Reid......don't even get me started.
Thank g-d Pennsylvania still has the Steelers!

I don't have anything else to say right now.


Wait I'm back. Brian Dawkins can get it!

Bummin' It!

I have a friend who is driving me crazy. Actually, I have a few friends that are driving me crazy, but I want to write about one in particular. I’ll just call him “E” for now. He is about 29 years old with a college degree from FIT. He has a daughter with a woman who lives in NY. He doesn’t have a car so he spends a lot of time on public transportation going back and forth from Philadelphia to New York to pick up his daughter and to see his girlfriend (not the babies’ mother). He recently purchased a triplex in Philadelphia.

Here’s the problem. He does not have a job. He’s been here in Philadelphia for about 6 months now and has been out of work for most of that time. He lives on the second floor of the triplex, but the other two floors are empty. He had hoped to be able to rent it out, but no one is interested. Nothing has panned out for him. He’s way behind on his mortgage and child support payments. Here’s my problem. He’s been crying about being broke and not having a job for months now. At first I was playing the role of the sympathetic friend. I mean I’ve been out of work before and I know how it feels. I tried to help him out and recommend places that might have openings, but he’s not been interested in anything. I’m starting to get the feeling that he wants someone to place a high paying job in his lap.

“E” only wants to do what he went to school for, and unfortunately in Philadelphia there isn’t a high demand for graphic artist with only freelance experience. I've asked him if anyone at his old school could help him out. He said “They only had connections in NY!”. It kinda irks me that he says that because NY and PA aren’t worlds apart. Is it so odd that I would think one of his professors might have a Philadelphia connection? Gawd!

I have recommended some places to him that were not in his field and he completely rejected them.Here’s the incident that made me look at him sideways. In Philadelphia they are building another Comcast building. It’s bringing a bunch of jobs with it. I looked over their site and saw oodles of jobs. I called him to tell him that he should check out their site. About a month goes past, and he calls me crying about the same crap. Telling me that he had been searching so hard, but that he cannot find a job, because no one wanted to give him a chance (he has limited experience). I asked him if he went to the Comcast site, and he said “No”. At this point I was thinking, “Well, then you haven’t looked everywhere”. I asked him why he hadn’t looked there yet and he gave me some bullsh** excuse, something like he couldn’t find it. So while I had him on the phone I went to the site (COMCAST.COM) and started reading off jobs to him. I was even nice enough to forward them along to his Yahoo account, (none of this sounds too complicated right?). The next day he sent me a reply saying that he wasn’t qualified for any of those jobs, but thanks. Okay, (not even a customer service rep?) I let that go. The company still had a bajillion other openings. And I mentioned that to him, but I could tell that he wasn’t going to look on his own. I f***ing hate to have to spoon feed a man like they’re a child.

Yesterday, he calls while I’m at the gym. More of the same stuff. That he “can’t find a job”, and he’s “been looking everywhere”. He was also upset because he had two tenants that were supposed to move in yesterday, but they flaked out on him. They gave him some bulls*** story, and then they were dust in the wind. I said, “Well did they sign a lease yet?” He said, “No, but we had like a verbal agreement!” I let him go on and vent about how he was depending on that money. It seems that, because he thought that he would be getting some income from his tenant, that he stopped looking for a job. He started talking about wanting to go and “find” them, and I guess beat them up. Haha! Are you serious?!?!?

I wanted to scream at him. They never signed a lease; therefore they’re not obligated to give you ANYTHING. Come to find out that he didn’t even really do any real background checks on these people. “Wow! And you were ready to let them move in today huh?” What a freaking idiot! I mean really! You’re 29?!?! I feel that he should have known better. I mean if you lived in a questionable part of town, and had a young daughter that stays with you half of the year, wouldn’t you do some type of background check on the people who could be moving above and below you? Wouldn’t you wait to get a check, and then wait again to see if the darn thing cleared? I tried to stay supportive, and tell him that things would eventually work out. I let him know that there were a few jobs that I’d heard about recently. They were not in the field that he was trained in, but it was something that could possibly hold him over. I even mentioned the idea of him coming to my company. He basically said that he was not interested, and that it didn’t seem like the kind of place he’d be happy to work at. Citing the excuses of another friend of ours. LAZY STUCK-UP BASTARDS!!! I guess he see’s the line of work I’m in as below him. Whatever, as long as I’m not out on the block, LOL!

My thing is, you have a child and a mortgage. Why are you being so picky? I told him that “I’m not thrilled doing what I do”, but that “I am very thankful for this job. It was something, when I had nothing. And to this day I’m close with all of my hiring managers, and trainers”. I talked about how I’ve been hoping and praying to be accepted into the Police Academy & have a real career, but until that day comes I will keep working at this hum-drum job.
And somewhere in my little speech I slipped and said, “Beggars can’t be choosers" referring to myself also. I guess he took offense to that, because he mentioned something about male pride and got off of the phone with me soon after.

I don't really care if I've offended him. He shouldn't have come to me with a problem, if he didn't want to hear my opinions. He knows I can't keep my mouth shut. Also, I’ve exhausted myself thinking of ways to help him out when he obviously doesn’t WANT to work. The way I see it, he should be happy that there are any jobs out there. Even if they are low paying, something’s better then nothing. I really hope that he’s able to pull himself together and find something. I don’t want him to lose his home, and I don’t want his daughter to suffer because of his stubbornness.

I hope things work out quickly, because isn’t 6 months a long time to be late with the mortgage?


Peace

Thursday Night Road- Whore

6am – 3pm Worked
3am – 3:30 Drove home
3:30 – 4pm Hung out with two of my god-kids
4pm – 7:30 Mowed the lawn, weed-whacked the edges, pulled weeds in the driveway & in the front of the house, trimmed the bush by the curb, used the leaf blower for all the acorns and crap, swept, and sprayed down the pavement.
7:30 – 8:15 Took a shower and put on some p.j.'s.
8:15 – 8:45 Sat down and tried not to think about how hungry I was.
- 8:45 Got up, went outside (noticed there was already trash in-front of the house) and drove to Wendy’s to get a salad and some nuggets. While I was out that way I filled up my tank, and dropped off a movie I had rented last week. (Yes I still had my PJ’s on)

So I’m driving home, and I get stopped at a red light. There were two cars in-front of me and no cars in the lane to my right. A car pulls up in the right hand lane and stops right next to my car instead of pulling all the way up to the light. Ladies you know what it was hittin’ for.
Anyway I didn’t turn around I just kept singing along to my music and waiting for the light to change.

I’m a naturally fast driver, so I take off as soon as the light changes. Dude was on my heels though, and followed me from lane to lane. What a Tackball. The next light we got stopped at brought more of the same thing. He even tried beeping.The light changes and I'm off again.

There’s nothing but open road (really just street) in-front of us. I don’t know how fast we were going but we were within the speed limit.
There wasn’t anyone behind me for a while, so I just stopped. Don’t you know this fool stopped too? Right next to me! So you know I had to play stop and go with him for a little bit longer? LOL!
I decided that I would at least look over to see who it was. I was already laughing my a** off. I look, and to my surprise he looked very familiar. It is the same dude that was trying to race me about two months ago on the other side of town. I guess that’s his m.o.. Haha! So I roll my window down because at this point I was curious to hear what he was going to say. He looked at me and said

Him: Hey, why don’t you let me take you to dinner tonight.
*I look over at at his BMW SUV…it’s nice, but I’m still not interested*
Me: No thanks, I just came from getting some junk food.
Him: Hey girl, don’t I know you?”
Me: Yep
Him: From what?
Me: Same thing as tonight. Driving.
Him: Oh! Can I talk to you?
Me: Sorry, I’m going this way. (make a left turn and wave “bye-bye”. I could not stop laughing at dude)


That s*** was so funny to me. I mean twice in the past 6 months. Does he have a thing for Mercury Sables, or is he just a road whore?

“Can I take you to dinner tonight?” What type of girls are going for this crap? I mean it’s a Thursday night, we’re in cars (still moving might I add) and I don’t even know him. His approach was all wrong.

Maybe I would have been impressed if he could have gotten in front of me, and made me stop.

Haha! Beat the speed racer though?............ Please!



Have a great weekend y'all.

Hi everyone. Hope you had a great weekend. I did, but I'll write about that another time. Anyway, I've been tagged by Ms. Behaving.

The rules are self explanatory. Elaborate on the word(s) I've put in bold lettering below.


Accent – Don’t have one, but a lot of people have asked me if I was from Virginia. Don’t know if these particular people have ever BEEN to Virginia and heard an authentic accent, but whatever. I love an Irish accent. Also some southern, south American, and British accents.

I Don't Drink - Milk, or much liquor.

Chore I Hate – Dishes…..by hand, It’s something about having to stand in one place for a while.

Pets – I lovvvvve animals. I’ve had a bunch of different pets. Mice, snakes, fish, birds, lizards, hamsters, guinea pigs, cat’s, dogs. I would never bring another bird in the house though….ever.


Essential Electronic – My cell phone. It’s like the only decent electronic thing I have.

Perfume/Cologne - Normally I would keep this to myself, cause I don’t like copy cats, but I wear Lolita Lempicka Perfume.

Gold or silver – Gold

Insomnia – Just at work.

Job Title – Site Supervisor

Most Admired Trait – My eyes, and lips.

Kids – None yet. I’d like to be married and settled b4 I start to having babies.

Religion – I’m a Christian, but I don’t attend church often.

Siblings – One little sister. Thank god we don’t fight as much as we used to. Now she’s one of my best friends.

Time I wake up - About 5am every single day. I’m a creature of habit.

Unusual talent/skill – I wouldn’t say that it is THAT unusual, but I have a good memory for faces. Also I can still pass for 18 even though I’m pushin 27. Oh Yeah, I forgot. I can sleep forever if you let me. Seriously forever. LOL!

Vegetable I refuse to eat – Mutha-Fuggin Eggplant. Still the nastiest thing I can think of on this earth.

Worst habit – Being a people pleaser. I have gotten a lot better, but I still catch myself sometimes overextending.

X-rays - Never

My favorite meal – Baked Salmon with any green veggie, and a cornbread muffin. But the salmon has to be chilled. Come to think of it, I like most of my food cold.

Alright. Now that that’s done with I tag…………………………………….Ray-Ray & KiKi. I had to do it and now so do you.

Peace People.

Another Interesting Conversation.

This is a conversation that I had just a few hours ago with a visiting supervisor who’s been helping me out for the week. We were talking about his 23 year old niece who lives with, and is spoiled by, her dad.

Me: Damn! She gets to sleep on till’ 2pm every day? And her father pays for everything! Car note, insurance, hair nails, rent……Wow, that’s the life. I can’t even relax after work. When I leave here I go to the gym, and when I get home there’s always cleaning to do.

NG: You go to the gym?

Me: Yeah.

NG: The gym? Why do you go to the gym? You’re skinny!

Me: I need to tone up and work on my stamina.

NG: Why?

Me: For this job I’m trying to get. It's in a field where I'll be required to be a lot more active.

NG: What field are you trying to get into?

Me: (straight-faced) Pornography.

NG…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
(Fumbling) Ahhh. Oh. I uhh………………. (Looking conflicted confused and intrigued)

Me: Just kidding. Law enforcement…..You can breathe now.



I wish y'all could have seen his face. HILARIOUS!!!!

Have a good one people.

Peace

About Last Night.

I had a bunch of crazy dreams last night. The one that disturbed me the most was about my ex. I haven’t had a dream about him in forever. Anyway, in the dream we met up, and he started hugging me and saying to me "You know I love you, right?" I had no response, because I knew it was a lie. *Hahaha! Even in my dreams he's a liar.*

I felt myself enjoying the hug though, and that's what woke me up. This little nightmare happened around 3am. I say nightmare because of the anguish I went through in the dream and after I woke up. Lying in my bed I thought about all the things (lies) he said to me during the last few months we were messing around. It hurts to be lied to no matter what the arrangement is. In our case they weren’t necessary. Telling me he loved me, saying things about having a little girl with me, all this and more….just lies and bull shit from him. Shoot I'd be surprised if he even remembers saying that stuff to me now.

Destroying his precious car wouldn't even make me feel better. I just want him wiped from my mind. At this point I feel like "Okay, (brain/heart) it's over. He's not the person you thought he was. Just forget about him, and put the past 5 years behind you."

It just kills me that my subconscious is sabotaging me like this though. I just wish that there were a magical pill that would make me forget about him completely. The good, the bad, the trips, the fights, chilling with his adorable kids, the work place antics, the sex, the love, the hate, the hurt, EVERY GOTDAMNED THING!!!!! I don’t want to remember any of it.

I don’t even want to hate him. It’s tiring. I just want so badly for everything that went on between him and I to be wiped from my memory. I can't believe that things turned out to be so ugly between us, or that I wasted so much time with him.

I Hate Work!

This little guy knows how I feel, LOL! I imagine he's somewhere in between thinking.... "What the fuck are YOU looking at?, What the HELL do you want? & I’m going to KICK YOUR ASS!"
I don't know how or why he makes me laugh so hard, but he does. So he's my Thursday blessing. Why do I say blessing? Well it’s because before I saw him…I was really feeling like crap.

I had a headache, because I didn't get enough sleep. I had to train someone else this morning, and while I was flipping through papers I gave myself a paper-cut....ON MY BOTTOM LIP!!!!! Arghhhh! The next person that calls my name is gonna get "The Look"! And I'm gonna keep giving them “The Look” until they turn away from me.
Thank G-d I have my Advil.

Who do you want to give the look to, and why?

Peace

Happy n' Healthy

I am so tired. I've been working out a lot at the gym. Nothing too strenuous. I’m just trying to build up some stamina. Currently, I’m 143 pounds and 5'6". I would love to drop maybe 5-8 pounds, but I won't be destroyed if I don't. I know that when you gain muscle you can also gain weight, and I'm okay with that. You know what type of body I would love to have? Jennifer Gardners’, ala Alias. I think she's so pretty. Neither one of us are heavy up top either, ha-ha! But still she has a nice shape to her. She looks strong and centered, but not too diesel. I don’t want to look like I just stepped out of the old school "American Gladiators" TV show.

Anyone know how many laps around a track equal a mile and a half? I'm tired of the treadmill. Well actually, I shouldn't say that. It's not the treadmill. It's the fact that every time I jump on a treadmill, no matter how far I distance myself from the other people; someone has to get on the one right next to me. WHY???? It just irks me. I don't like to feel crowded for no good reason. Can I breathe? Shoot!

Yesterday, while I was working out I noticed that there was a woman working with a personal trainer in front of me. She was a very large woman. It was the first time I've seen her at the gym. In a day where people sometimes cheat and get gastric bypasses to lose weight, I was glad to see that she was making an effort to put in time at the gym. Even though she was complaining to the trainer about everything, LOL! I know 2 people who have had that surgery and the thought of it is so scary to me.

At this point I work out so that I can keep eating what I want. Eventually that’s going to have to stop though, because the crap I like to eat can’t be good for my heart. I think that I'll take the day off today (from the gym). I don't want to over-do it. I just sneezed and the pain in my stomach tells me I've done too many sit ups. Now, if I could figure out how to download music to my cell...I'd be good! If I could get free music I'd be great! All the music in the gym puts me to sleep.




Peace

Out and About.

This weekend was a little hectic for me. Saturday morning I went and got myself a French toast breakfast. Ate it, and fell into a deep sugar induced sleep afterwards (i'ma hafta look into that). Earlier in the week, I told my sister that I would give her a ride to our Aunts get-together. So around 3pm I woke up and called her to see if she still wanted to go out. Of course she said yes. I was still tired a shit but I dragged myself out of the bed and started getting ready to make moves.

Now about my dads family …. My father has 10 siblings, and they are a wild group. I never got to see them very often because of my mother. They aren’t mean or anything, but my mother (whom I lived with for most of my life) never really seemed to be on good terms with them. I think it was a jealousy thing. As a child, I knew that it was nothing that they did wrong. It was always because of my mother. They liked her. Heck according to them they still kinda like her (once family always family as far as they’re concerned), but because of the drama she was always going through with my father she kept my sister and I away from them.

I never wanted my mother to feel that I liked my fathers’ side more then her, even though I secretly usually did. My mom has always been very dependant on me and my sister. Her depression’s left her emotionally insecure. We all think it's because she doesn't have a life, and she can't/ won't work. That's just surface stuff though. I know that I've been a bit of an enabler, but shoot...she's my mother and I always though that she'd get better. The reality of the situation is that, I should have spent my childhood having fun and growing, and not trying to be the shrink that my mother needed. Oh well, can't go back in time. I didn't tell my mother that I was going to go to my Aunts party. I didn't feel like watching her spiral down into another pointless self deprecating episode. I think she suspected something was up though.

I left to pick up my sister, and then travelled back across the city to my Aunts house. We had a nice time, but left the block party around 8:15 pm. Both of us had other plans for the night.
I came back to the house so that I could hop in the shower again, and change clothes. Another friend was having a small get together downtown. I said hi to my mother as I was passing by, and I let her know Renee (that’s my sisters middle name) was outside talking to the next-door neighbors.



Mom: WELL SHE KNOWS WHERE I’M AT IF SHE WANTS TO SEE ME!

Me: Mom.....she is coming back here to see you. I was just letting you know in advance.

Mom: Oh....



Got damn! Why does everything have to be a battle, struggle, challenge, or a competition with my mother? Why all of the hostility? We are not two bitches off the street from her old neighborhood that she has beef with. We are her daughters for Christ sake! Neither one of us have put her through anything serious. Never once did she get a call from the schools saying that we were expelled. We never bought any babies into HER home; I never even smoked a cigarette....in life! The worst thing I ever did was bring in a few bad grades, and pout when it was time for piano lessons.Never asked anything of her. Stood by her. Tried to understand her. But still she insists on being a jerk.
I am tired of walking on eggshells around this woman. She wants everything to be about her. She is manipulative and cruel. And she passive aggressively demands loyalty that is completely unearned and undeserved.She wants everything. I can't be friends with my father, but she can. WHAT TYPE OF TOMFOOLERY IS THAT? Oh she’s completely crazy.She doesn’t even like me to have friends.

"Well mother my patience has run out. I'm tired of worrying about you first, and only. I have tried to work with you to break you out of this 25 year funk, but it’s pointless.You're not even a nice person at heart."

She left for New York again this Sunday. She was supposed to leave on Thursday to help my grandmother. Her phone broke as she was about to leave the house. I asked her if she wanted me to call my grandmother to let her know that she was on her way up there, and do you know what she said to me? "Wha….I don't care...do what you want." All ig'nant like.Well that was it for me. The final straw. I just went upstairs and changed my clothes. Came back outside and pulled off. I went to my friends house. I didn’t even wait for her to pull off and she damn sure didn’t get a goodbye. I spoke to my grandmother several times during the day.. My mother didn’t get there until exactly 12:00 midnight. It's only a 2 hour drive, and she left at 7:00pm. This lady just can't survive if people aren't stressing over her. Why she wouldn't stop to call from a pay phone to let somebody know something is beyond me. On top of everything she stole a whole big bottle of juice that I had stashed.Mother,Sometimes you're cool, but most of the time you're not.Your jealousy has overshadowed everything you do. It's like 50% of who you are.So I'm going to go back to "doin' me" You can keep lying in bed. There's no beef. I just need to be away from you. Yes, I will be moving back out SOON!!!




Peace

I Spy....

I spy with my brown eyes something that starts with "D". Can you guess what it is? No? Okay I'll tell you........ a

Drop Top Hearse.

It was the hottest thing I've ever seen on wheels. LOL! I tried to get a picture, but it pulled around the corner before I could take it.



What do you spy, that just ain't right.....(besides the grammatical structure of this post!)


Peace

Clean the Filter

Ever since I stopped messin' around with my ex, things have been going well for me. Saturday I got the letter that I'd been waiting for. The results from the Police Officers Recruit exam that I took in June. I PASSED!!!!!!! Yay!

I was starting to think that they forgot about me. Next thing I need to worry about is the physical. I've been going to the gym a lot lately. Hope it pays off for me.

Now that I have a lot more free time on my hand I have also been able to hang out with family more. I've also been able to spend more time with my crazy lil' god-son.

I really think that the negativity that my ex carried around with him was polluting my aura. It covered me like a shell. Now that he's gone, I am open to receive the gifts that the world has for me. However small they might be, I am happy to receive them.

What do you have going on in your life that you are happy about?
Share with your girl!




Peace

Update on The Ex, aka “G”, aka Papi, aka Cut-buddy!

JMW & DC, y'all might not like this.

I started to fuck with my ex again because I was bored, and horny. I figured that since we were pretty compatible, (in bed) that, ehhh…..why not. Also, with him, I already knew most of his drama. There weren’t supposed to be any surprises.

There were other contributing factors I guess. Like I said before, (in older posts) my ex and I met in late 2002. Before I met him I had been abstinent for a little over a year. (Wait, does it still count as abstinence if you “satisfy your own needs”?) Anyway….. I’ve only had sex with one person since 2001. Too scared to lay down with anyone else I guess. Or, too lazy to look for another dude that could satisfy me. Anyway, for whatever reason I started to mix it up with him, it was a big mistake….BIG ……HUGE!!!!

The problems started about two weeks ago. We had plans to go out, but instead he asked me if I wanted to come to a picnic that his family was having. I said, “oh….you and the boys?” referring to his twin sons whom I adore. He said “no, everyone”. Well y’all know I had to pass on that. His family and I don’t really get along on account of the fact that I don’t respect any of them. Feel no need to be around those dramatic fools. And, I need to save all of my fake smiles for work…..Ya feel me????? Well after I said “no”, he had an attitude with me. Didn’t speak to me for a couple of days. Giving me the fuggin silent treatment like a damn girl. That’s around the time that my uncle died. I really didn’t need that extra shit. When we finally did speak, he was acting all funny. Lawd! I can’t stand a bitch ass dude. I could hear the attitude all in his voice. In my head I was like “Damn…..do you not remember how your mother was discreetly campaigning for your babies’ mom, while at the same time calling me her daughter in law? Inviting her to every single event she knew I would be at. Calling me on the phone, and asking me not to beat her ass?”

I remember that two faced shit. Anyway, days flew by and the anger both of us were feeling, kinda’ just faded away. He started to whisper sweet nothings in my ear …. again (this has been going on a lot within the past few months).

For some reason it didn’t sit well with me though.

When we started this *cut-buddy* relationship, we established that it would just be sex. I didn’t ask him how many women he was sleeping with. All I ever said was “be safe”. At first he was cool with that. Then whenever I would say it he would *act* all offended as if I were calling him a whore :) That’s when he really started acting as if I were his one and only. Even told me he wasn’t speaking/dealing with anyone else. Went so far as to let me lay up in his house when he wasn’t home. LOL!

Don’t get it twisted though, he always took his cell with him. That’s his second dick…his most prized possession. All of his little secrets neatly packed away into a tiny hand held fortress. And let me tell you. Like his real dick, he took it with him EVERYWHERE.

I remember one time, I had slept over. All night long his phone rang, but he would never answer it. The next morning he woke up and went to the bathroom. While he was in there his phone rang again. I looked at the phone and before I could even read the “m” in “Kim” I heard him running down the hall. LOL! All in a panic. I just walked by him and said “Kim called”. He (of course) had the stupid face. I just got my shit together and rolled. Laughing to myself, as he had a hissy fit in the background. Acting all confused, defensive & guilty. I should’ve never come back after that, but the dick was calling me. So this Friday, I end up sleeping over again. People were blowing up his phone all night long.

Saturday morning @ 7:00am, I wake him up because he has to get ready for work. While he’s in the shower, his phone rings. Twice actually. Both times the same girl..... Kim. I took that golden opportunity to go through his phone. Why?... Why not? Took a few numbers down, checked the pictures…..none of me up in there, but there were like 6 other girls. Some cute…..some not. I had taken a shower earlier in the morning. All I needed to do was brush my teeth and wash my face. When I was done I mentioned that he had a couple of missed calls. Keep in mind that it is 7:00am in the damn morning. Who else but a girlfriend calls that early?


Me: Kim called.

Him: Oh.

Me: Twice.

Him: (silent acting busy)

Me: So, is she another friend from work?

Him: No. She’s someone I’m trying to make stop calling me.

Me: Oh! ……….I went through your phone while you were in the shower
Papi.

Him: (inaudible noise) I don’t care.

Me: What about Tameka and Nikki? You trying to snub them too?

Him: They’re just friends. (Straight doo-doo face)

Me: Okay. (Gave him a lil’ smile)



Okay you want to play it cool? That’s fine with me. While I was walking to my car, he called out to me. “Damn, no kiss goodbye?” I said, “Yeah, just let me pull my car around first. I want to get out of this rain, ya know.” As I pull up alongside of his car, he has this face…like he’s waiting for me to snap. I just smiled and said. “I didn’t mess up your day did I? You look kind of nauseous.”
He said no, so I just smiled, and said I would call him later.

I knew what I was going to do. I was going to call them. I was in a rare mood. Feelin’ kinda bitchy. I get like that occasionally. This other part of me that I don’t really understand is hard to control at times. Sometimes I (the rational Nic) can control her. Other times…it’s like I just decides to sit back and enjoy the show.

I pulled up to my house and called “G”. I told him that I had taken a few numbers down and that I had to go make some calls. All in a little sing songy voice. And do you know what this fool said. "Okay Nic."
I go in the house and call Kim. I’m polite, but get straight to the point. We hit it off. She was cool. She asked me if he and I were in a relationship, and I told her “no, but with everything 'G’s' been saying it might be a possibility. I just want to make sure of a few things, before we go any further”. She seemed to corroborate his story right off the bat, which doesn’t really mean shit cause tricks lie. Her first words to me were
“Oh so what, did he tell you to call me? Did he tell you to say you’re his girl, and he don’t want me?” I explained how I got the number, told her why I called her. And let her know that he did not tell me to make any calls.

Well we got of the phone, (no beef I swear), and about 5 minutes later my phone rings. It’s “G” and he's mad as hell. Screaming and carrying on a lot over a call to someone he supposedly doesn’t even like. I was laughing to my self as he tried to jump down my throat. He was acting so out of character, and that’s how I knew that there was something serious going on between him and one of the other women. As he was “talking” to me, all I could do was laugh and say,
“Didn’t I tell you I was going to do this though? Did you think that I pulled those names out of thin air? Have I ever lied to you before? Well whose fault is it that you never took me seriously? Maybe that was your problem!”

I think that he was just scared that I was going to call the next group of girls, and mess up his plans. Well I don’t really need to do I. What ever those girls are doing, is on them. They aren’t of any real interest to me. The whole thing was just hilarious though. I mean really I expected more from him.I honestly thought that he would be able to have better control over situations like this. The whole thing makes me laugh, because…….well he fucked up. Wasn't I supposed to be completely under his control! Ha! Please!!!!! I know, deep down inside that I shouldn’t have stooped to his level of game playing, but darnit I want to have fun too. I mean shit I figure he’s been playing with my mind for years now, it’s only right that I be able to jerk him around too. All he had to do was just keep things sex based. He’s the one that started that “I still love you” crap. Not to mention that “let’s make a baby” shit. Pluheese!

If he would have just gripped me up, thrown me down, had his way with me and left me sleep on the ground…I would have been fine. Shit I love that type of stuff. Use me up baby! That’s what I get off on.He’s the one that tried to use the ole’ "rope-a-dope" tactics on me. BUT FOR WHAT? Why couldn’t he just keep it real with me? PUNK AZZ! Did he think that that was the only way he could keep me coming back to him? Fill me up lies…..keep me dazed and confused. Dude, it’s 2007 get your shit together. Don’t you know me by now? Don’t you know that I value honesty above everything? Dumb ass! So now you’re pouting cause some shit done blown up in your face and you didn’t see it coming. Bwahahahah! Didn’t I tell you not to fuck with my emotions? Did you think that I was really going to put my life on hold so that I could chase you around Philadelphia? Naw buddy! You can kiss my beautiful brown ass.Now I’m over here laughin’ to myself. Petty much? Yeah... I know it, but so fuggin’ what ! Karma’s a bitch, and I have a feeling that it’s just getting started with him.


Here are a few links, for anyone who wants to catch up on "The Ex".

Backsliding Again
Friday’s Trying to Destroy Me!
I Promised I’d Be Honest With Y’all!
I’m Getting Married Y’all……One Day.
Text Messaging While Tired.
Awwww Tuesday….
Is Paternity Becoming a Non-Issue?

Peace